Amena Brown:
So, we're almost two weeks into the new year, and I know a lot of us are focused on our health, so I thought this interview from the HER archives would be a timely one. In this episode, I talked with Anowa Adjah, the first nationally recognized 200-pound curvy fitness professional and pioneer, founder of the Curvy and Cut app. Listen in as I talk to Anowa about why it's important to love ourselves and love our bodies too.
Amena Brown:
We are so happy to have personal trainer, fitness guru, Anowa Adjah, with us. Thank you so much for joining me, Anowa.
Anowa Adjah:
Absolutely. Thank you for having me.
Amena Brown:
So, Anowa, she knows a little bit of how I discovered her, but you all, Instagram is a wonder because I follow GooGoo, and some of you that are Instagram people, you know that GooGoo is a fantastic fashionista and celebrity stylist. So I follow her, and she actually reposted a picture of Anowa on her Instagram, and I was like, "Who is this Black woman? Who is this strong Black woman with all these curves and things? Who is she? Who is this?" So then I went following Anowa myself and she's posting different tips for people and posting her own exercise journeys, and then she's like, "You all, I got these DVDs." So I told my best friend, I was like, "Girl, I got to get in shape. We hitting these mid-30s, got to get in shape, girl."
Amena Brown:
So I ordered all three of Anowa's DVDs, and I was at my house, like, why does she call this the starfish? I'm about to die. Doesn't Anowa know that I'm about to die watching this DVD, trying to do these exercises? And so I loved about your approach that you were encouraging people in general, but I feel specifically, there was this message there for women, that to be fit and to be healthy is not to not be in the form of your body, that if you are curvier woman, that you can be fit and also still have curves, that, that was this very present thing in your approach. I'd like to start with an origin story. So, did you know when you were younger that you would become someone who would become this fitness guru? Was that a thing you thought you would become when you were a child, or you thought you were going to have a totally different career path in this?
Anowa Adjah:
I thought I was going to have a totally different career path. I come from a very strong family. My mother and father are Nigerian. So, it was more like, someone's going to be a doctor, an engineer, a pharmacist, any one of those things. At one time, I think I wanted to be an attorney. Another time, I said I wanted to be an entertainer. Another time, I said I wanted to be a dancer. So I'm going to be honest with you, I had aspirations of becoming many things, but what I will assure you is that I never thought I was going to become somewhat of a fitness inspiration. My mother was a gym rat. We were all athletes, but I might've saw myself playing basketball for a minute or doing track, but then reality sort of hit, but I just never saw this. So, this was completely organic and true when it happened.
Amena Brown:
What was the transition point for you between just your own personal want to be fit, want to be healthy journey and realizing, hey, this is something that I can help train other people to do in their own body, or help equip them on how they can also become fit?
Anowa Adjah:
Basically, I had always been involved in sports. I actually had a pretty successful athletic career. But what stayed true is that I never felt like I fit in. Sports was basically my safe place. During that time, there weren't a lot of women shaped like me, weren't really built like me, or curvy, in a sense of it wasn't something that was really promoted or really something that you've seen on television, mass media, any of that kind of stuff. So I sort of felt awkward growing up. I felt very different, but after sports, I remember I sort of randomly wanted to embark on this modeling career.
Anowa Adjah:
And during that journey, and I remember I was trying to join these fitness agencies, I just figured, hey, I was in shape. Look, I can do this. And what they kept on reminding me was, okay, you don't have the right look, you're too big, you need to lose weight, it's your build, you don't have the right structure for being a fitness model. And that sort of was the reminder to me of my childhood of how I felt like I didn't fit in. I'm like, okay, I don't understand it. I mean, I'm in shape. I might be curvy a little bit thicker than them, but I'm an athlete too. I've had a successful career. And it was quite baffling to me that with all these exceptional things that I had accomplished and what I thought was fit to society, it was not considered that.
Anowa Adjah:
And at that moment, I remember just being so depressed and down. And I was just like, I just had a moment of just a revolution. I was just like, I'm going to do it myself. Well, you don't believe me, fine. I don't need you to do this. And this was about almost 10 years ago, 10, 11 years ago, and I just started creating my own YouTube videos. YouTube was very big back then, and I just started doing my own YouTube videos, and I remember saying in these videos, oh, I'm 200 pounds, I'm in shape, and look, I can do all these amazing things. Look, it's possible. You can be in shape, you can have curves, you can do all these kind of things and still be this way. There are women like us.
Anowa Adjah:
And it ended up going viral. It was everywhere. It was on maybe a takeout [inaudible 00:05:52], everywhere that you can name it. And at that moment, I believe I had something and that's when I wanted to create workout DVDs that sort of just drew attention to women of curves. And at the moment, there weren't really anybody doing that. There wasn't curves and fitness. There wasn't this revolution I was... they will sort of look at me like I was crazy. What is she talking about? But I started to get all those encouragements from so many women. People were sending me emails, "Oh my God, finally, I found someone who looks just like me who's in shape."
Anowa Adjah:
And I'm going to tell you, when I released those workout DVDs, I mean, I was four months pregnant, that's another story, but they ended up taking off. And I received so much support and amongst just Instagram, Facebook, I have 1.4 million followers. I never thought, and this is just organic, it was nothing forced, I wasn't trying to do what the other person did, I just took a leap of faith. I said I hope somebody gets it, I hope they see what I see, I hope they understand where I'm going with this. And that's exactly what happened. And then to see where it's gone now with the curves and fitness and everything else, it's just, it's amazing. You never know. You never know.
Amena Brown:
For a lot of us, we take our bodies for granted. For some of us, we don't even know how do we take care of our body, how do we strengthen it, how do we listen to it, all those things do not always come as intuitive, and I think particularly, for women, we have all of the onslaught of what different people and media things are saying our body should be-
Anowa Adjah:
Absolutely.
Amena Brown:
... saying different parts of our body should look like this or be this way, and we're trying to filter through all these messages. And I loved that in your work, there is this dual message of you love the body that you're in, you accept that body, and you can take care of it and you can make it stronger, and I love that. So, talk to me about your sort of personal fitness journey, post being an athlete now, now you have entered into this space where you are not only doing your own fitness journey, now you're helping other people do this, and you get pregnant with twins, which is a lot on the body.
Anowa Adjah:
Oh, I had to take a deep breath [crosstalk 00:08:17].
Amena Brown:
Yeah, that's a journey for the body, just having that you're growing two human beings inside your body, also inside of a body that is an athlete's body, that you were used to looking and being a certain way, I found that you sharing the story of how you approach fitness, even post pregnancy and now as a mother, tell us a little bit about what that journey was like for you, walking through pregnancy and then sort of getting on this journey of now accepting this post-pregnancy body, and also strengthening it, what was that journey like?
Anowa Adjah:
Humbling. Humbling. I had been this athlete, I mean, I was pretty known for my figure, I was in shape, I was blessed, I was in great shape, great body. I mean, I could've gone, I could've made a couple bad meals, it wasn't going to affect me. I mean, I was very lucky, and I just believe that this was the journey that was meant for me to walk through because it completely changed me. Motherhood changes you, but just the fact of where I was at that point in my life, especially the confidence I had and everything else in my body, I could do all these amazing things and everything else, and once I became pregnant with twins, a lot of things changed because at that moment, of course, we're carrying two babies in my stomach, I had to be very, very careful.
Anowa Adjah:
So, I see all these amazing people just doing all these amazing workouts while they're pregnant. Because I was pregnant with twins, I became very sensitive that it became all about the pregnancy. So I really stopped doing any type of real training while I was pregnant, and I just sort of took in the process, and I did not have control. And this is what... that control word is so powerful because motherhood is so much bigger than this. I was a woman of control, of power, I could just do this and my body will just respond like this. No. That's not what happened. My body just sort of became this home to these two human beings and I had no control of it. I just basically was making sure I was doing all the proper things that I could to make sure that they were healthy.
Anowa Adjah:
I was very living in exercise as far... I mean, I was in shape as far as pre-pregnancy, but it just became all about carrying a healthy pregnancy. It wasn't about what am I going to do, I'm going to be in the best shape when I get out, when I have the children, or nothing like that. That became of no importance to me. So that was where the change began. And when I had the kids, I had plans. We always have our plan, and then it's God's plan. [crosstalk 00:11:01]-
Amena Brown:
That's right. That's right.
Anowa Adjah:
... it's our plan, and then it's whatever you believe in, high power, whatever you believe in. But I remember, I was like, okay, yeah, when I have these babies, I'm going to set up this workout plan, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, and then, boom, I'll be back in shape and everything else. That did not happen. I remember eight months in, they just told me, you're having a C-section. You're going to have a C-section. One of my children was transverse, meaning he was sideways. And I carried those boys and I was blessed because I carried my twins until about 39 months, which is unheard of, not unheard of but it's very, very rare with twins.
Amena Brown:
Oh, 39 weeks, yeah.
Anowa Adjah:
39 weeks. I said 39 months, excuse me.
Amena Brown:
I was like, wait, how old are these children? Yes.
Anowa Adjah:
Hey, you guys, please forgive me. That was a little slow moment. 39 weeks.
Amena Brown:
It might've felt like 39 months some days though.
Anowa Adjah:
It did feel like 39 months, you all.
Amena Brown:
I understand that.
Anowa Adjah:
It did. It did feel like 39 months, but it was 39 weeks, and I had a C-section and even just recovering from that C-section, I remember, I was just like, this is not a game, this is no joke. I can't even stand up straight. I can't even laugh without feeling pain. What is going on? And I remember being in that hospital room, using that hospital bathroom, and I think a lot of women will understand me when I tell you this, and I remember looking at that mirror and I remember I had to lift up that medical gown and look at that mirror and I could not believe what I saw. I could not believe what my body looked like. Everything had just fallen, basically.
Anowa Adjah:
And I was like, okay, this isn't going the way that I plan it to go, and I remember just recovering, it became all, for me, I was breastfeeding, I'm a supplement, it just became all about the babies. And I want women to know that it's okay. It's very inspirational to see some women that snap back in two days and all this kind of stuff, but please take you to the process, please accept the process. Everybody's journey is completely different. I can tell you this, it became very real and human for me that, that was not going to be my journey. I was not going to just snap back.
Anowa Adjah:
And I remember going to the doctor's office and my gynecologist was like, yeah, you do have hernia and you have a condition called diastasis recti, which my abdominal muscles were completely split, and I had this tiny stomach, it was flat before the children, and I was like, okay, I'm not sure what she meant. But when I recovered and when I started to work out and get back in shape, I saw that it wasn't that simple and things were not just shifting back in place as what I expected it to be. And so the process took time. It took me about a year to even feel normal.
Anowa Adjah:
And to be honest with you, and this is what I say to women, I trained and worked out with that hernia, but it wasn't until recently because I had these young children and it became serious. I couldn't even stand up straight for a long period of time, and then I remember, I'll say to my doctor, he's like, yeah, you're probably going to have to get that surgically repaired. And all this from having twins. So, I'm telling you, it became very human and real for me, and I could tell you, I had stretch marks, I had the hernia, I had diastasis recti, I got the bootcamp of motherhood, I swear, when I had those children. It was very, very humbling. It was very, very humbling.
Anowa Adjah:
But I want to let everyone know that it's okay, that I think before, women were just inspired. Like, oh my gosh, she's doing all these amazing things, all these women. But I think what really touches them the most is that there are many women that share my specific journey with these issues and things that can happen from carrying your children, even the fact of just not having sleep, even the fact of just being tired, even the fact of postpartum, all these things that I've actually shared, that I had somewhat after I had the children, that it was very real to me. And they said, oh my God, okay, it's okay, because for her, that happened to her too and so I know that there's nothing wrong with me, that this does happen, so it became very comforting to women for me to share those particular things, and I was able to help even more women than I could ever imagine.
Amena Brown:
I loved that during that journey, that you normalized that this experience, this can be normal, that this is not... and it doesn't have to feel odd, or that you don't have to feel alone as a woman if this is the journey that you had postpartum, post-pregnancy, and I loved, even on your Instagram, that you would post a picture and say, today, I did these things, maybe I'll try to do this, body didn't want to do that, so I did this. And you would just kind of let people in on that process because I do think with social media, I was talking to a friend of mine about this recently, that motherhood has become a performance, [crosstalk 00:16:10]-
Anowa Adjah:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Amena Brown:
... pregnancy and you're expected to take these photos and feel this way and then after your pregnancy, you're expected to, somehow, you're supposed to be like a cartoon, or like how it was in a sitcom or something, where you've had a baby and here's this body that you had 10 months ago and you're in the middle of this process. You're learning how to take care of these children and going through all these things, and there are better ways to honor that your body did that versus trying to put your body through this stress to be something it was back then. I think what you said really normalizes, hey, let's look at where the body is today and how do I move forward.
Amena Brown:
So, what was that first workout moment like for you, post having had your twins? Did you decide to sort of ease yourself in? Did you decide after a certain amount of time, all right, I'm going to go in, I'm going to push myself? How did that transition happen?
Anowa Adjah:
I always call myself somewhat of a beast. I just go in. I give it my all. But when I went into the gym, and I'll never forget it, I mean, I trained at home, but when I actually went into the gym, it just didn't feel... my body just sort of still felt like it was going through it. You understand? I remember even going on a treadmill and trying to run and my knees were bothering me a little bit. My joints were a little bit achy. I even remember trying to do some minimal ab workout and my C-section scar was still sore.
Anowa Adjah:
So, I just felt like, okay, this is going to be a bit of a journey. I have to ease my way back in. I remember just running, doing all these things before, and that just wasn't going to happen. I believe my body just needed some time. It still needed some time to recover because what women don't understand when you go through pregnancy, that is called trauma. Your body experiences trauma. It's a beautiful thing, but it's also traumatic for the body. And women need to take heed to that. It's not a small thing. And I believe that social media is such a powerful engine, but at the same time, it can be very damaging to people, because people don't know how to receive this message. They see all these people, that basically have perpetuated the stigma of how you can snap back and look how perfect my life is, look at my pretty kids, look how good I look next to my children, and, hey, and I'm still working out.
Anowa Adjah:
And a lot of it sometimes is not reality. It's just not reality. You get tired. The kid gets sick. Fever, oh, workout session's not going to happen here. Oh, my C-section scar still hurts. Why do I have these stretch marks? What's going on here? I'm depressed. I'm not sleeping, I'm not eating. These are real life circumstances and situations that need to be addressed so people can feel a lot more human in the process. It's such a beautiful blessing, but I want people to take heed to the fact that it's also very serious. You are a warrior. You are powerful. Do you not understand that you just gave birth to another human being? There are women that have not been able to come out of that, that have not been able to go through that in a healthy manner.
Anowa Adjah:
Meaning that some women have actually passed during that process. It's a very serious situation. I mean, not to be all dark about the situation, but I just want women to understand how blessed and how powerful they are. And that with all that comes with actually giving birth to a child, that you need to give your body time to come out of that, and it's okay.
Amena Brown:
Yeah, and it's okay.
Anowa Adjah:
It's okay.
Amena Brown:
Yes. That's what's so powerful. Hey, I hope you all are enjoying this episode so far. In addition to being a podcast host, I'm also a poetry performer and keynote speaker. In the before times, when we could safely go to live events and stand in crowds, I traveled all over the country and performed poetry, shared storytelling and gave keynote talks. Well, now, we may not be able to gather safely in person, but we can gather virtually. I'm now taking requests for virtual events for 2021, so if you're looking to add poetry, storytelling and inspiration to your event, visit amenabrown.com to submit a booking request. I'd love to be a part of your event. Maybe we could figure out a way to virtually high five.
Amena Brown:
I want to ask you, and this is a similar question on my last podcast that I did for my book, How to Fix a Broken Record, I interviewed my hairstylist and I talked with her about how the role of a hairstylist is sort of this combination of friend, therapist, fashion consultant-
Anowa Adjah:
Oh, yes.
Amena Brown:
... right? And a personal trainer to me also can fall in that similar category where you are helping your clients get stronger, lose weight, whatever those goals are, but you play a bit of a therapist role because you are having to sort of enter into sometimes the emotional things people have going on in their body, even in the way you described your experience postpartum, you're present in your body but there are all these feelings that go with that. When you are approaching your work with clients, how do you approach this work that is physical, but in some ways, spiritual too, how do you approach that?
Anowa Adjah:
The physical aspect of just, okay, this is what we're going to do to fix it, it's almost the endpoint of everything. It's not me trying to be a therapist, but a lot of people, when they've come to this point, there's always been a turning point, there's been always something that has brought them to that place, and my goal is to find somewhat of the root of how did you get here kind of conversation. And you will see that a lot of times, that is the core issue, because you can get them in the gym, you can work out, you can do all that kind of stuff, but mentally, they're not at that place. They'll resort right back to their old habits, they won't finish, they won't complete it, and a lot of times, you'll find yourself really trying to motivate them.
Anowa Adjah:
There'll be very little motivation from them because you don't really know what the problem is and there could be all types of triggers around them. They could still be going through the trauma. So I always try to sit down and have a conversation with my clients about how did this happen, where did it all start. And a lot of times, you'll find that the issues are very much emotional. It's not black and white a lot of times. Sometimes, it's from pregnancy, sometimes, they've always been overweight, they've always had these habits, sometimes, it's just some traumatic situation happened, they lost a loved one, they're going through depression, food is an addiction. People don't understand that.
Anowa Adjah:
So, as trainers, I believe it's very important, for me, that is where I feel like I've been able to resonate with a lot of women, because our conversation sometimes don't even tap into fitness until the very end. We just talk about all the... how are things, all the struggles that we have, all the continual things, and then we get to the point of, okay, fitness, because you'll see that it will lead up to that point of why it's been hard for them to go to the gym, of why they lack motivation to even work out or train. It's a lot deeper with folks, and it's a lot deeper with people, and on that woman that will ask those questions and hopefully get the answers that they need so I can be able to help them.
Amena Brown:
Yeah, that makes total sense. Something you just said makes me think of the term self-care, and that I think it's good that we're hearing that term more, because I think in general, specifically women, could stand to be doing a lot more self-care, but sometimes, when I think of self-care, I'm like, that's me taking a bath, it's me eating donuts. I don't often think that exercise is self-care, and it is. What advice do you give to your clients who are having a hard time making that time for themselves?
Amena Brown:
Because to commit to working out, exercising, doing yoga, any of those things, it's a moment where it's hard to multitask and do that. You kind of have to give yourself that 30, 45, hour, 20 minutes, whatever it is you can do, you kind of have to give yourself that time. It's hard to do that in great papers or do that and try to multitask and do your job, or whatever. What's your advice to people who struggle with even taking that step of just taking care of themselves this way? What's a great place for people to start?
Anowa Adjah:
I want everyone to also get okay with being imperfect. We plan out our days, we expect, also, expectations also really, really, I want to say limiting expectations, but just managing them, because we have these expectations of how our day should go and how it should go from A to Z, and the minute that something happen to C, then the day is just, oh my God. Oh, I can't do this, and I just can't do that. Acceptance. And what I'm going to say with acceptance is that accepting that there are things that are out of our power and our control. However, keeping our eyes on the prize, we have a goal in mind that we're trying to achieve. This should be your constant, almost mantra. It should be constant in your life to accept, okay, I didn't expect that to happen, but I need this to happen. How am I going to achieve this?
Anowa Adjah:
Staying focused on the plan, for me, I'll tell you personally. I have twin boys. Balance is a challenge. I have twin boys. I'm a single mom with twin boys. I run a business. I'm helping, engaged in this, but I'm a mom. The teacher could come and say something, hey, I want to have a conversation about Ethan, he hasn't been eating, or Eli, he doesn't want to talk to people. And those little things, and this is what happens sometimes, even with just motherhood, it'll just completely throw you off, because that's your child. Or even something at work, you're just like, oh my God, you went into work, you had this positive attitude and your boss tells you, you know what? You're not performing up to par, you're not... and then that completely throws you off, and then you don't want to do anything.
Anowa Adjah:
You don't want to be... I was at that place where I was really struggling, and I'm really sending this message out and I want women and men to receive this, but I was really struggling with the adversity that I was facing. Every time something happened, it sort of just threw my day off. I didn't really know how to proceed, so then fitness just became... I was in shape but it was like, okay, it's my job. I've got to make sure it didn't become the priority that I needed it to be.
Anowa Adjah:
But I'm going to tell you something about it. Fitness is important but what I found peace in is affirmations, during that moment when I'm having and it's like, okay, but this is not going to kill you, you're all right, you're okay, you got to get this done, you'll be fine, everything's going to work out, everything's going to work out. That's also very important to repeat to yourself, everything's going to work out. It's okay. What do I need to do next? Constant, those constant affirmations.
Anowa Adjah:
Another thing that helped me is that I started to practice transcendental meditation. I actually went and took some courses in that because fitness is important to me, but I realized the challenges that I was having was more mental. And it's actually even more critical than fitness at times because your mental sort of gets you through the workouts, gets you to the gym, gets you to that place of saying that I'm going to train today and do what was right for my body. Your mental is so important. And what I have to constantly remind myself is that if I'm not right for myself, I can't be right for others.
Anowa Adjah:
So many times, we just, okay, I got to do this, because we're just givers. Well, I got to do this for this person. I got to do this. I got to this done. This has to be taken cared, this has to... and you're pouring into people but nobody's necessarily pouring into you. And so at the end of the day, you feel depleted, you're tired, you're exhausted, you're unmotivated, you don't feel like... you have to constantly remind yourself that you're priority in all of this. You're in a position right now to change your life. And I want people to understand that health is so critical, because if you're not healthy, you can't do anything. You can't help anybody, you can't function, you can't address, manage, you can't be of no kind of assistance or help to anyone else. You have got to remind yourself that you are priority in all of this.
Anowa Adjah:
So what I want women to understand is that my advice for them is to make sure that mentally, they're at a decent place. Can you honestly say, I know that what is very critical, what we don't understand and what we don't address is depression. I mean, I was talking to a therapist, I'm going to share it to the world, I talk to a therapist after I had the kids.
Amena Brown:
Me also. Listen.
Anowa Adjah:
I talk to a therapist after I had the kids and it was my sister that said it because I just felt this whole superwoman complex. Everybody else says that I could do what I could do, and I remember my sister just said, okay, listen, I think you need to talk to somebody because I was sort of moving and you become... it's just sort of you're functioning, you're walking through life but you're not living. You're going through daily motions, you're going through daily routines, everything else, but you're not really pouring it into you. You're just in this I got to get it done kind of head space.
Anowa Adjah:
Because you know what happens is that when you emotionally invest yourself into that situation, that's when the trauma can happen because that's sometimes a realization to women that, oh my God, this is overwhelming for me, I'm not sure if I can do this, I'm depressed, I'm really not happy with my life and where I am, this is becoming very hard being a mother, this is becoming hard balancing all these responsibilities. Nobody wants to deal with the reality so sometimes, we just function. We don't want to take a step back and actually reflect. But that reflection can honestly change your life. And sometimes, the reflection happens at unfortunate situations, where you're sitting in a doctor's office and they're telling you, you know what? You have diabetes, or you have this issue going on, or this happening, or you're going through this, or there's some type of trauma that honestly wakes you up out of it.
Anowa Adjah:
So I want women to understand and men to understand, it's okay to take time to yourself. So that me moment is so powerful. You know what I do? They said, my therapist said to me and I'm going to share this word with everybody else, he said with the amount of responsibilities that you have, you have got to give yourself weekly rewards. Weekly, not even monthly, weekly rewards. I don't care if you go to the movies, I don't care if you get your hair done, I don't care if you take a stroll around the park, I don't care if you take yourself out to eat each week, I want you to look forward to something each week because your life is so demanding. And that is not me just speaking for myself, I'm speaking for everyone because a lot of people go through the same thing I'm going through. They feel overwhelmed. They feel this.
Anowa Adjah:
So, fitness has not become a priority to them, but fitness is very much important because your health is what you need to function. Your health is what you need to live. So they have to place that in the same category with everything else. They have to prioritize that. So I want you to take care of your mental capacity. And then on top of that, I want you to surround yourself with positive reinforcements all around. Because I'm going to tell you something, there are so many distractions, there's so much negativity, there's so many things that could just take us away from our goals. You want to make sure that you have a whole bunch of people that are saying, "Yes, you can," behind you, a lot of motivation, because there are days that you're not going to feel like doing it.
Anowa Adjah:
There are days that you're going to feel discouraged and you want to make sure that you have people around you that say, "Yes, you can. You can do it. I believe in you." You need to have constant reinforcements. So, everything that I've actually spoke of has nothing even to do with fitness. Fitness is the last part. I'm telling you, work on those things, you'll get to the fitness part. You'll get to it, because some people get to the gym and they're not even feeling like training. They're given a (laughs)... not even their whole efforts into it. They're just not motivated. They're not there because they haven't taken care of those two things.
Anowa Adjah:
Walk that road, walk that path that I just showed you, I'm telling you right now, then you'll get to the fitness part. And you can do it all. And it's not like, I got to do this first and then do this first. No, you can work on everything at the same time. But those two things that I mentioned are very important in this journey because you can lose the weight but you can gain it back. You want to make this a lifestyle, you want to make this something that's become a part of your life, and you want to make sure that you are doing it because you want to do it. And that is very important to me, and that's the message that I share with my clients consistently. That's the message that I share constantly with my supporters. It's extremely important.
Amena Brown:
Oh, that's so good and so powerful, Anowa. So powerful. And I don't know if this is Western or American or what, we just almost start separating, trying to compartmentalize ourselves, I guess, [crosstalk 00:33:45]-
Anowa Adjah:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Amena Brown:
... spiritual part over here, and my mental's over here, and physically, I'm over here, but all of that is in one person that we have to be whole. That's what I hear in what you're saying, this more holistic approach, that it's not just, go, work your body out just until your body's tired, it's getting your mind in gear. It's getting your emotions and your spirituality in gear. It's getting those things lined up with what your body's doing. Even makes me think, when you were talking, I've always had this idea when I was younger, I'm going to be a woman who will have it all. I'm going to have the relationship and the career and the family, these things.
Amena Brown:
And the older I get, the more I'm starting to wonder, is it that I should put my energy into having it all or is it that I should look in my life at what I do have and try to steward what I have well? That was what I was hearing in what you were saying there, that we can sort of start looking around and get so distracted, thinking about all these things or experiences or whatever, I must have, and sometimes we look in front of us and we're like, hey, well, I do have these supporters in my life. I do have this body that I'm in. Everyday, I have that, that I could be a good steward over and let the new experiences come to me as they're supposed to, but also to appreciate right where I am, to be content in a way where I am. That's a bit of what I was hearing in what you were saying, Anowa.
Anowa Adjah:
Yes. Gratitude is so important. Gratitude is being able to appreciate the skin that you're in. I have so many people that send me messages and they're inspired, of course, and they're just like, how can I look like you? And I'm like, well, why aren't you enough? We're searching for all of these so you can be inspired, but there are actually something in you that feels like you aren't good enough, the skin that you're in, the assets that you have, who you've become is now not good enough because now, all these social influences that we, you know, have received, because when you're not in the right mindset, I will say, you start to question things.
Anowa Adjah:
And the number thing you start to question is am I even enough, do I need to change this or do I need to make this happen to make me feel better about myself? And although I don't have anything, surgeries, whatever you want to do to make you happy, I believe, but I also believe when you're not happy, you're just not happy. It doesn't matter what body you're in, it doesn't matter what clothes you have, it doesn't matter what car you have, it doesn't matter what town you live in, it doesn't matter, any of those things. Happiness comes from within. And so I always try to reinforce with everyone, you are enough. Don't believe the hype. You are enough. What is your best you? What would you like to come out of this training, or to come out of this session with me? What would you like the end goal to be, ultimately? Where would you like to see yourself?
Anowa Adjah:
Was there a place where you were before that you appreciated? Is there somebody to emulate, maybe their journey? And say, hey, me and her have similar body types. I would love to somewhat look like that but still feel like you are okay. Gratitude is so important because you always feel like whatever you're doing is not enough. Even after the training is done, you'll never be enough. You'll never be enough. You always feel like you need to fix something. Gratitude is very important in saying, okay, you know what? I'm at this place, it's not my best place, I would like to be at this place and being very realistic about our expectations, managing our expectations.
Anowa Adjah:
You are okay. You are enough. What you have, what you have to offer is okay. You don't necessarily need to be that person to feel whole. You don't necessarily need to walk that journey. I've worked with women that come to me and I thought they looked great, but they were like, I just don't feel because I don't feel good. I don't feel like I look like this. And then they'll show me pictures of women that are just like, I'm like, they look nothing like these women, but they want to look like that. I'm like, so you think that, that's going to make you feel better? But you look good. You're tall. You have a nice body. You're petite, you're this, you're that. You got great shape. And so I reinforce them. You actually got it. Don't look to this source.
Anowa Adjah:
So I want women and men to look from within. Find that special place in you. Find that happy place. Look within. And that is where the wake up call for a lot of women, because that's when a lot of women and men, because that's when they feel like I don't love myself, I'm not happy, and that's when the change can happen. Once you realize that there's an issue, you have the ability to change your life. And I want women and men to tap into that. Don't be scared to tap into that. We've all been there. And once you find that, you can start to work from the inside out and find where you'll find that happiness and appreciate the things that you have, appreciate where you are in the journey, appreciate the process, because it's very deep, it's very challenging. You're going to be challenged, and that's why that mental capacity is so, so important. Gratitude is so important in the process.
Amena Brown:
And intention. [crosstalk 00:38:59]-
Anowa Adjah:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
... saying reminded me, whenever I go to yoga, how our instructor will say, "Think about what your intention is for today's class," and that was so hard for me in the beginning because sometimes, I'll be like, just to make it through class, to try [crosstalk 00:39:15]-
Anowa Adjah:
[crosstalk 00:39:15].
Amena Brown:
... to survive class. I don't know. But just taking that even outside of just the exercise or workout experience and think about what is my intention in my life, I think that's so powerful, you all. And now what got me out here live, I'm about to go, where's the kick box? Let me see if I can go to the kick box. And now it got me motivated. You are helping so many people to feel seen in your own personal story, in just the way that you are communicating, through how to holistically approach your health and fitness. You're just helping so many people to feel seen and feel known, and that's a part of it.
Amena Brown:
When we feel like we're alone in whatever our journey is, that makes it difficult for us to move forward because we feel misunderstood and because we don't feel appreciated and we don't feel seen. And a great part of your work is people feeling like she sees me, she understands a bit of my experience, and I think that is so powerful.
Amena Brown:
Don't you feel inspired? Anowa always leaves me inspired. I'm not only a fan of her work, but I've used her app and her DVD so I can tell you, she kept me motivated and she helped me to get stronger and show my body love. You can follow Anowa @anowaadjah on Instagram and Twitter, and you can check out her website at anowaadjah.com. Right now, she has some workout programs you can join if you're interested, so go there. Support Black women, and support yourself by adding strength and endurance to your exercise plan.
Amena Brown:
For this week's Give Her a Crown, I want to give a shout-out to Candace Reels, founder of Female Collective. I found Candace on the Instagram account, Female Collective, and I know, Instagram, like any social media, can be a place that can start to make you feel bad about yourself or question your own life, and the last year, I tried to work on my relationship to social media by following accounts that challenge and inspire me. The quotes from Female Collective tell you the truth like a good girlfriend would, reminding you to not stay in relationships that aren't serving you, reminding you that it's okay to have a good cry, reminding you that you are worthy of love and that you should love yourself. Give Female Collective a follow and give Candace Reels a crown.
Amena Brown:
HER with Amena Brown is produced by Matt Owen for Sol Graffiti Productions. As a part of the Seneca Women Podcast Network and partnership with iHeartRadio, thanks for listening, and don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast.