Amena Brown:
Welcome back everybody to another episode of HER with Amena Brown. I really wish, maybe I can, I'm going to talk to my husband because my husband does the production for this podcast. I wish I had some jingle bells. I really feel like that's a missed opportunity. I feel like I should have opened this up and just had those jingle bells right there. Maybe in post-production you all will hear it. Maybe you all will hear the jingle bells since I didn't have them.
Amena Brown:
But this is our holiday episode. It's like Oprah's Favorite Things except you don't get nothing but a conversation. We don't have the items to give, maybe next year. Maybe next year we'll have that, but just feel like "You get a car. You get a car," but instead, "You get a good conversation. You get a good conversation." It's not the same.
Amena Brown:
Okay. First of all, I'm excited to welcome our guest into our HER living room. Singer, author, actress, American Idol finalist, Christmas enthusiast, Melinda Doolittle is our guest today. Woo!
Melinda Doolittle:
Hey, hey.
Amena Brown:
First of all, let me tell you all that I enjoy talking to Melinda so much that my husband actually looked at me and was like, "Is you all recording? Is this ... Is you all ... Is this the episode or are you all ... "
Melinda Doolittle:
We can't help it.
Amena Brown:
There's so much to talk about.
Melinda Doolittle:
I know.
Amena Brown:
I'm actually going to have to control myself so that I don't start telling Melinda off the record things that are not supposed to be on this podcast. I'm going to try to be disciplined with that you all, but that's what's happening. You all don't get access to all those things. The off the record is just for me and Melinda. But we're going to give you all a portion. You all are going to get the on the record and yes, this whole episode, it's about Christmas things. Okay?
Melinda Doolittle:
It's my favorite thing.
Amena Brown:
Have you always been a person that loved Christmas? Has that always been your jam?
Melinda Doolittle:
Always. I don't know what it is. It's so weird because it was just me and my mom growing up. We didn't have money or anything. She was a teacher so we didn't have anything, but Christmas has always been my favorite. She used to do the 12 Days of Christmas with me and give me a gift each day. One time, my gift was crushed ice. It was my favorite gift ever. I didn't know that's free. She just took a hammer to a bag of ice. I didn't know that. I just knew like, "Oh my gosh, this is yummy." She put a little Kool-Aid flavoring on it and I was happy. It's not even the gifts, it's just the whole feeling of Christmas that just brings me joy constantly.
Amena Brown:
It is a season of time that just has this inherent wonder and magic and even the darkness of Christmas, it's very beautiful, because the days get darker earlier and that cozy, snugly, by the fire, the candle feelings, I get the vibes, and I want to give your mom a shout out right now. I want to give her a shout out for two reasons.
Amena Brown:
Number one, crushed ice. That is a gift to your point though because let us reflect upon Sonic, Sonic Drive-in and other places where when you get that drink, if it had regular ice in it, you're just like, "Why? That doesn't make sense." But the crushed ice, it does add a specialness. The fact that your mom crushed that ice herself, I really celebrate that. And then the Kool-Aid flavoring, that was almost a snow cone, basically, what you had, and that's some sh-
Melinda Doolittle:
It was basically a snow cone. She's always been that creative my entire life. She just comes up with stuff that just ... I don't know how she does it but she just does. She couldn't afford crayons, the expensive crayons, but at that point, eyeliners were really, really cheap, so she bought me different colored eyeliners. When I tell you I colored with those and had a great time [crosstalk 00:04:40]
Amena Brown:
Come on, momma. I'm about to buy myself some eyeliners right now. When I tell you your momma is the plug right now, come on, momma. She was like, "I can't get my baby that Crayola, but let me tell you, these Wet n Wild eyeliners, these are Milani eyeliners." Come on, yes.
Melinda Doolittle:
It just has been my life. It just makes me so happy. And now that we are actually able to give each other gifts, it almost doesn't even matter what the gift is, we don't care about that. We care about time we get to spend together. We care about doing something that we both enjoy. It just doesn't ... The season is about so much more than that. And I think that's what makes it so special to me. And it might be why I celebrate so very long.
Amena Brown:
Okay. This is a good transition because I want to begin by asking a couple of just some general questions so we can have an idea of what's happening here, okay?
Melinda Doolittle:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Amena Brown:
Because I, first of all, I also grew up in a single-parent house. My mom, I'm trying to think, first of all, my mom, she's not really into a lot of decor like that, she's into having the time with you.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
But she wasn't into, "Let's get a big old tree." That wasn't her thing. She was like, "I got this four-foot tree that we're going to put on top of this table. And you're going to take your ornaments that you made in your class." We did that. So I didn't really get into the decor parts until I got grown enough to host Christmas at my own home. After Matt and I got married, we became the home to host here.
Amena Brown:
So then it was like, needs a tree, needs those things. And then we started establishing the tradition of, we would try and get the tree Thanksgiving weekend, so that before my mom and grandma left to go back to their house, that they could help us decorate the tree, right?
Melinda Doolittle:
Okay.
Amena Brown:
But then as I got to know some of my friends, some of my friends were like, "Why are we waiting until Thanksgiving to put up our tree?" I have some friends that were like, "Boom, it's October, here's my tree."
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
I also have some friends that it gets to be February. And they're like, "It's still my tree and say something about it." Okay, so can you discuss what are your thoughts on the Christmas decoration parameters? Okay, when do you believe it's time now for you to get the decorations out, get it going? And when do you believe it's time to be like, "All right, it's done now." Or, okay. I'm going to leave this as an option or is it never time for the decorations to go away? And is it like, "Look, Christmas is joy in our hearts all the year?" What are your thoughts?
Melinda Doolittle:
Well, okay. I will start by saying that as a singer, most Christmas seasons I'm on tour. So I would miss Christmas at home. I'm always gone November, December, so I'm not home to enjoy the lights or enjoy the tree or anything like that on the months that people are used to. Tour starts the day after Thanksgiving, so you just miss all of that.
Amena Brown:
Got it.
Melinda Doolittle:
So I got into the habit of putting out my tree in October and keeping it up until about Valentines. That was my habit for a while of just now I can actually enjoy a season. I have January and half of February to enjoy it like everybody else had the end of November and all of December. So I did that, and then about five years ago I hit the age of about 38 where a switch turned, and I cared less about what people thought, you know what I'm saying?
Amena Brown:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Melinda Doolittle:
I didn't go by, "Everybody says you should do this. And everybody says, you should do this." People were so upset with me for still having my tree up in February all the time on social media, and I just got done caring. And so October of 2015, I put up my tree and it hasn't come down since.
Amena Brown:
Wow.
Melinda Doolittle:
It is still up.
Amena Brown:
Wow.
Melinda Doolittle:
Now obviously it's not a real tree, so let's be clear.
Amena Brown:
Okay.
Melinda Doolittle:
I don't have a dead tree in my house.
Amena Brown:
[crosstalk 00:09:21] a distinction.
Melinda Doolittle:
But I got this tree and it brought me so much joy that I was like, "Why do I keep taking it down?" It would make me so sad to take it down. Why am I doing that to myself? Why not just leave it? And let me explain I don't keep it plugged in year round. It's not always plugged in, but if I've had a hard day, I come in the house and I plug in the tree, and I put on my onesie ...
Amena Brown:
Come on.
Melinda Doolittle:
... I turn the air to make it cold. I put on the fire, I have a little cup of cider, and everything's better. So I'm like, "Why would I take that down?" So basically Christmas is here year round. I save a couple of Christmas movies on my DVR just in case I need it. And it just is what it is. And I get judged for it so heavily. And hear me say, I don't care. I honestly do not ... This is the time where I get to say, "I'm doing this for me. You do you. You take your tree down whenever you want to."
Amena Brown:
I'm at my house. You're at your house, Melinda, people can't tell you.
Melinda Doolittle:
I'm at my own house. My mom moved in with me three years ago. And so that was two years into the Christmas tree. And so she knew what she was moving into. So she didn't say a thing. If I was traveling and she knew I was going to be tired coming home, the tree is plugged in when I get to the house, and I walk in and I'm like, "Thank you, Jesus." So it's a thing now. And I'm like, "If you have a problem with it, that's your business. And you do what you need to do at your home. But as for me and my house ... "
Amena Brown:
It's Christmas all the time, anytime we want it around here.
Melinda Doolittle:
Anytime I need it. Yep.
Amena Brown:
First of all, I just respect this choice. I respect you doing what you need for your joy. And I respect you doing that in the face of being like, "I don't really care what you all would be saying about it. This is what I'm doing. This is what I need."
Melinda Doolittle:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
And I have to say that has become even more important in this time of the pandemic, because I have focused a lot more on what my home is like, what its comforts are to me.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
Because like you, I was doing a lot of my work on the road. So there were certain times of the year that I was home more and then I'd be like, "Oh, maybe it would be nice if that couch is better, if I had those pillows I liked." But then you leave and you go to the hotel or wherever you are traveling.
Melinda Doolittle:
Right.
Amena Brown:
So I wasn't as focused on, "If I had to be here all the time without traveling at all, what are the things I would do?" And now I'm like, "Well, I do like these candles. I need these candles. I need them to be scented." Okay. That is a need that I have. "And I do need this blanket and I don't care if it doesn't matter what the couch. I don't care." It's my blanket, it feels like a t-shirt on the top, sweatshirt underneath, look, this is the life I've chosen to live.
Amena Brown:
I think there are these things that I feel have shifted in a lot of us, so just I need to make sure that my home is not just an expression of who I am, but it's a place where I can be at peace and remember my joy and not let the external things come into the peace that's in my home, right?
Melinda Doolittle:
It's so true. And what's been so interesting about this pandemic is that at some point, about mid October, people were like, "We just need Christmas you all." They started putting up lights, putting up trees and in some way it made them feel better. And I was like, "Welcome everyone. Welcome."
Amena Brown:
You're like, "This is the life I've been living. I've been living this life."
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes. I bring you in. I accept you. You are welcome here. This is a safe place. Enjoy your Christmas with me for however long you need it, because I have needed it this entire year.
Amena Brown:
Please, please, and let us, let us also discuss something that I've been just watching you do from afar that I know has been a big adjustment for a lot of us as performing artists. I did have a moment recently where I just cried missing the stage, missing that moment of being in front of a crowd where you've shared this, for you, that would be a song, and for me it's like I shared this poem and I finished it, and I felt that, huh, from the audience. Whatever the feeling is of that peace, it's like you're having this, it's hard to explain in certain ways to someone that doesn't do stage work, but I'm going to try to explain it the best I can to listeners that might be like, "This is not what I do. What do you mean?"
Amena Brown:
It's like when you're on stage, it's a conversation you're having with people.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
There are parts of the poem or the song where you can hear them gasping, or you can hear them laughing, or you can tell when they were really starting to follow you along with the story. And there's just nothing like it. There is nothing like it. And I miss it so much. And I think we have been trying to find ways, even though nothing will be exactly like how that is in person, we have been trying to find ways of, how do we still remain connected around art and music in particular? Because it does bring us together. It does communicate our emotions and our feelings that we may not even have words to articulate. And just watching you have these virtual moments with your fans and these music lovers, talk to me about what that's been like in general for you during the pandemic. And then I also want to know about these virtual Christmas shows because by the time you all hear this, you all can't go to the Christmas shows.
Amena Brown:
But let me tell you all. You all don't know Melinda, okay? Melinda celebrates Christmas all year round. So you all don't know, Melinda might pop up in February and be like, you all want to hear something that I can call Christmas song which I want to do?"
Melinda Doolittle:
I actually probably will. But gosh, I think at first when everything hit and my entire schedule for the year got canceled, I panicked, obviously. Well, we all were like, "What? What do you mean?" And not knowing when things would come back, it's still unknown right now as far as when people will want to come to a concert and feel comfortable with that and all of that. And so the unknown made me realize like, "Oh, I should probably make some plans. I should, I don't know, maybe figure out how to connect." And in all honesty at first it was like, "How do I still make a living?"
Amena Brown:
Right.
Melinda Doolittle:
It was that.
Amena Brown:
Right.
Melinda Doolittle:
Because I am such an introvert that I wasn't missing the connection quite yet. I was like, "Okay, I'm at my house in my onesie, I'm good. But also maybe I need to make money. How do I figure that out?"
Amena Brown:
Right.
Melinda Doolittle:
And then I did my first virtual concert and I had connection like feedback, and it was on this program where the feedback had been 15 to 20 seconds later. And so I would finish a song and I'd be silent and I'd be like, "Who knows if they liked it?" And I'd start the next one, and then I'd start to see the feedback and be like, "Oh good, I'm so glad you liked that. But I'm halfway through the next song."
Melinda Doolittle:
And so there was something about seeing their feedback, and when I would see it, how it would lift me and keep me going for the next part and realizing, "Okay, they are seeing this. They're with me through this," while I was like, "Oh wait, I think I enjoy that. Maybe I do miss connection."
Melinda Doolittle:
And so the next concert I had, I did it on Zoom because I was like, "I want to see them." I'm going to figure out ... I had done a couple of corporate events on Zoom just for different corporations where I just pop in for 15 minutes. And when I could see their faces, it was just, it was a different kind of connection. So I decided, "Let me do something different than people would see on stage." Because we all know this is different. You're in my house at this point.
Amena Brown:
Right.
Melinda Doolittle:
So don't expect what you see on a stage, how can I give you something different? So I took the audience behind the scenes and showed them how I create a show and invited them to be a part of helping me finish creating the show. I was like, "I'm going to give you a 70% created show. I'm going to let you see what my process was going into it." I even had a video of how I meet with my music director and how we change up a song to make it me, and all of that. And it was all Barbra Streisand tunes.
Amena Brown:
Wow.
Melinda Doolittle:
And then the audience, I only opened it up for 50 people because I wanted to see all of their faces. But afterwards I was like, "Take notes because I want to hear what you have to say." So we had a happy hour afterwards. We all went and got our glass of wine. I changed into a onesie, and we sat down and they gave me feedback. Songs that they liked, songs that they didn't like, what other songs they would want to hear in the show. And they actually helped me create a show so that when I go back out on the road, they're a part of this journey for me.
Melinda Doolittle:
So I learned how to connect in a way that I haven't ever been able to connect with an audience. And now I'm just excited. So of course, when Christmas comes up, I'm like, "Well, how do I connect even more? So let's do a Christmas show. Let's do an after-party that they can come to where we can hang out on our onesies and discuss, and let's do a meet and greet that people can just get one-on-one with me." We'll record it. It's on Zoom. So we'll record it for you, take a picture, do all that, and have a connection that I don't normally get with an audience, and they'll literally be in my living room hanging out. So I think now knowing that that's possible, it's fun. It really, really is.
Melinda Doolittle:
It's a lot of work. Don't get me wrong because I can't have a band in this house. I have to figure out how to do it with tracks and how to make tracks sound like me, because my momma lives in this house and we're not getting her sick. So not only can I not have a band this house, but I can't go somewhere where the band is. We got to be careful around here. So, it's been a lot of work to be my own tech person and my own everything, because your mama's not tech guy.
Amena Brown:
I know.
Melinda Doolittle:
It's just going to be me. Ain't no husband here that can be helpful, and I'm okay with that, however, it's all on me at the end of the day. So it's been quite an experience, but it's been worth it by far.
Amena Brown:
Wow. Just reading it when I was on your site reading how you had the show set up, I was already like, "Oh my gosh, I love this." And now hearing you describe it more, I'm like, it is ... I'm interested to see how we will all reflect on this time when five years has passed, but to think that there was this moment of innovation there, where you're getting a chance to make this connection to people that otherwise might have come to that show in person, but maybe you wouldn't have gotten to meet them or they wouldn't have gotten to have that wine, drinks, onesies moment, they would not have gotten to be a part of that creative process of you, that's going to be a very unique experience that people will be able to say they had with you.
Amena Brown:
And that's honestly what concerts are about. It's like we want to go to that show and leave being like, "Oh my gosh, I didn't know so-and-so break dances. And they just started break dancing in the middle of their set. And they're not going to do that on MTV or on this show that we see them. They're not going to do that there. But when I saw them at the show, I got to see that part of them." That's the beauty of it. I love that, Melinda. That's really inspiring.
Melinda Doolittle:
You know what I think, probably even more beautiful than that is that, because I will, after any of my live shows, I stand outside in the lobby until the last person.
Amena Brown:
Really.
Melinda Doolittle:
I will meet you.
Amena Brown:
I'm like that too.
Melinda Doolittle:
So we will meet. That's not something necessarily different than what I would do. However, what I'm seeing right now is that you meet my really on personality when you meet me after a show, because I'm still all pistons firing, I'm ready to go. But now when you meet me in my living room, I'm so chill. You just, this is me. This is what you get to see.
Melinda Doolittle:
Plus the after-parties are where the fun really is because you're not just interacting with me, you're getting to see what the rest of the audience thought. And so you're part of hearing how it moved everybody and how it did something different for someone else. And you're welcoming in an entire audience where you guys have something in common, which is enjoying the show, and you guys get to talk about it all together. And I think that's what people are enjoying even more than just getting access to me.
Melinda Doolittle:
They're like, "Oh, I have access to other fans and other people that are a part of this," and they've made friends way outside of me that have lasted far past the concerts. And it's been really cool to see that too.
Amena Brown:
I love that. That sense of community?
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
I love that. Oh, Melinda, I love that. Now I'm like, "Let me get my tickets so I can be in there." I'm still trying to find a onesie though. I haven't found the right. So a lot of two-piece Christmas pajama sets out here and I really need the zip onesie. That's what I need in my life right now. Let me find that so that I can be ready for this.
Melinda Doolittle:
Get it please. I have 12 but I don't share well, because I'm an only child.
Amena Brown:
Oh, we appreciate having a onesie for each month of the year Melinda, we appreciate the commitment to onesie life. I needed that. So knowing that you are a music maker and a music fan, we need to talk about Christmas music now.
Melinda Doolittle:
Oh gosh.
Amena Brown:
I need to get the information from you. Okay, so I'm going to use this as an example. When I used to go to parties in the before times, and we could party next to people and sweat and breathe and not be worried about things, okay, to me, it was like the party didn't start until I heard Before I Let Go. It was like, I had a good time, I was having a fine time. But as soon as I heard that, "[singing] Whoa, whoa, ho." I'm like, "Oh," wherever I'm at. I've had some times that I've been talking to a friend, I wasn't even dancing on the dance floor, and I was just chatting up a friend, and then I heard that [singing], and I was like, "Hold my drink. Hold my drink. I got to go now." As soon as I hear Frankie Beverly, I got to go, okay?
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
Do you have a Christmas song that's like that for you? In the sense of, do you have a song that you're like, "When I hear that song, it's Christmas. I don't care what day it is. I don't care what time it is." Do you have a song or any songs that are like that to you?
Melinda Doolittle:
Yeah, All I Want for Christmas Is You, that's everybody's. I don't even ... I listen to Christmas music year round, but I won't listen to that song until Thanksgiving is over. I wait. I wait on that song because that song is like actual Christmas to me. I don't know what happens. Mariah just, she figured it out. She just figured it out. And it's the sleigh bells, and it's all the things, all in one that just ... And I try to sing it, let me be clear. But I don't do [inaudible 00:26:03] and stuff, so it's not. I shouldn't, but I try. It's my favorite.
Amena Brown:
I have to say too I know somebody made that song before Mariah and I know other people have tried to sing it after her, but I have no memory of them. It's like, I don't ...
Melinda Doolittle:
No, wait. Nobody made it. She wrote it.
Amena Brown:
For real?
Melinda Doolittle:
Yeah, that's why everybody normally shows her with cash in her hand on the day after Thanksgiving because she wrote that song.
Amena Brown:
Wow.
Melinda Doolittle:
Oh yes.
Amena Brown:
I know some of you all listening are like, "Amena, why are you so late?" But let me just tell you, because when I would hear that song, it always sounded like ...
Melinda Doolittle:
It's classic.
Amena Brown:
Which is the perfection of it? It sounded like she was remaking something that somebody had made, but she did it and just made it sound way better. That's how classic it sounded to me that I was like, "Man, whoever that band was in the 50s that made the song."
Melinda Doolittle:
Exactly.
Amena Brown:
"Man, good for them. They're making money with Mariah," but they're not, because Mariah made that. And it sounded to me old. It sounds old, it sounds new, it sounds now, and it's perfection. It's perfection.
Melinda Doolittle:
That song has bought ... She'll tell you to this day, it's bought houses and all kinds of things for her. It just is. And so that, hands down, that's my song. Outside of that, it's The Temptations sing Silent Night. I'm happy.
Amena Brown:
Please, I have a family member that, that album, that Temptations' Christmas album is all it was. And I remember I spent Christmas with them one year and it was like, I didn't hear no other Christmas music except that Temptations' Christmas album. And I really don't have any regrets. I really ...
Melinda Doolittle:
No, that's acceptable. It's acceptable.
Amena Brown:
I really was like, I spent three weeks only hearing that. That was the only music that I heard for three weeks.
Melinda Doolittle:
That's fair.
Amena Brown:
I don't regret that choice, so yes. Mariah, shout out to you and all of that money that I just I wish Christmas poems were as popular as Christmas songs ...
Melinda Doolittle:
Right.
Amena Brown:
... and the packages.
Melinda Doolittle:
Well, and the thing is, it's so hard to write a classic Christmas song.
Amena Brown:
Yeah.
Melinda Doolittle:
Because everybody, there's nostalgia with Christmas. And in some way, she tapped into nostalgia without it being an old song. So it's very difficult to write a new Christmas classic, so it's not just poems, I promise. It's all of it. Because has there been, has someone written once since?
Amena Brown:
Mm-mm. Not that I've seen. Mm-mm, because before then I would've said mine was Donny Hathaway's, This Christmas, that when I hear Donny Hathaway's This Christmas, I'm like, "Everyone please, drape my shoulders with tinsel."
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes. And see, I love that song, but when I tell you that I do not love singing it, and I get asked all the time to sing that song, it's in my least. That and O Holy Night. Don't, stop asking. Stop asking. I'm going to do it because it's what want to hear but I can't. I don't.
Amena Brown:
You're like, "No, not me. Not me."
Melinda Doolittle:
No. O Holy Night is like the Star-Spangled Banner of Christmas songs. It's like, everybody wants it but you don't really want to sing it, and it takes up your whole entire range, and who has time for that?
Amena Brown:
This is actually, we're answering a couple of things that I wanted to ask. I'm going to segue into this, least favorite Christmas songs. Least favorite. I'm going to throw in, just not Jesus, it's not that you're my least favorite, but I'm saying, Away in a Manger, it's like, I enjoy the message, but I'm like, wherever the manger is, can I go there and not listen to this song.
Melinda Doolittle:
And see, it's so weird, because I love the song O Holy Night, I just don't want to sing it. And I love the song This Christmas, I just don't want to sing it.
Amena Brown:
You don't want to sing, okay.
Melinda Doolittle:
But my song for least favorite it has to be Drummer Boy, because I don't get it. What mom would be like, "Yes, come play your loud drum for my sleeping child?" Nobody, literally nobody. Nobody. And I know it's like bring your talents, whatever you have, bring it to the Lord. I get that. I get that that's the point. But I'm like, "No, that's not it. Pa rum pum pum pum, no, that's not it." And I'm sorry if you're a drummer, great. I just don't understand it.
Amena Brown:
I'm going to throw out there also Melinda, that the amount of covers of Little Drummer Boy that I've heard now and the amount of variations of an attempt to try and find new ways to rum pum pum pum, that's also a part of what's upsetting.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
Because I feel like I've heard like some hiphop versions where it's like a beat box and then we're trying to rum pum pum pum, and then there's just a lot of things happening with those drums. And I'm like, "Is it a gym bag? Is it a full drum set that we're somehow going to go set up in front of this baby?" What's happening. I am a poor boy too. There's just a lot. I just have ... You brought up some points.
Melinda Doolittle:
You calling him poor, you just, it's a lot of things where you're insulting the mom and the child all at the same time and then you're going to play your drum. I don't ... It's not my favorite, but if there is a good version, it's going to be Justin Bieber and Busta Rhymes. That version hits hard, because Busta, you can't really go wrong with Busta. When they're like, "Ra pum pum pum. Ra pum pum pum pum pum. Yeah, I'm on the drum. Yeah, I'm on the stand drum." I'm like, "Okay, I got you there," but that's it.
Amena Brown:
You might have given me one to add to my playlist because I don't think I knew about that one right there. But I also I'm a person that gets stuck in an era of music and I just really don't leave it that much, so I've still been listening to that Handel's Messiah Christmas album, that gospel Christmas album that came out, I don't even know when that was. I must have been junior high, high school student. Sometime in the 90s, that album came out. And when I tell you ...
Melinda Doolittle:
It was like, that's either late 80s or early 90s.
Amena Brown:
I'm in there listening to Al Jarreau, because it made me think about him, Melinda, because Busta Rhymes is on that record, but whichever rap group Busta Rhymes was in, that rap group is on one of the Handel's Messiah tracks.
Melinda Doolittle:
Oh, my gosh.
Amena Brown:
That's the house old the album is.
Matt Owen:
Leaders of the New School.
Amena Brown:
Leaders of the New School. You all, my husband is trying to ... I'm already probably going to get roasted for not knowing that Mariah Carey actually wrote that song. All this time, I was like, "She picked such a great cover." Mariah Carey is like, "Well, I wrote that song, honey. I did that." Okay. So it was Leaders of the New School. Busta Rhymes was in Leaders of the New School. Leaders of the New School is rapping on Handel's Messiah.
Melinda Doolittle:
And I know that.
Amena Brown:
A gospel celebration.
Melinda Doolittle:
You're teaching me something today, I'm teaching you, we're in this together. And I do, I am a purist about certain things. I just want to hear Nat King Cole sing The Christmas Song. If anybody else, maybe a little nice Josh Groban in there. I love symphonies and all that beautiful Christmas music, so I do love that. But every once in a while you need a little bop.
Amena Brown:
Okay. I have two questions that I need to ask. First of all, let's talk about Christmas jams because not all Christmas songs are a jam, right?
Melinda Doolittle:
Correct.
Amena Brown:
Some of them are more in a certain mood, it's contemplative, it's wishing I was home for Christmas.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
But what are your favorite Christmas bops, the jams?
Melinda Doolittle:
The jams, that one's hard for me cause I don't listen to a lot of bops.
Amena Brown:
Okay.
Melinda Doolittle:
I consider All I Want for Christmas a bop in my head.
Amena Brown:
Okay. I think that's a bop. I think that qualifies as a bop.
Melinda Doolittle:
And I go with, if you all don't know who PJ Morton is, I'm sorry for you. But basically his entire Christmas record is a bop to me. He's got to do, Do You Believe Yolanda Adams on it. It's just like this pocket, it's a pocket bop. It's just gritty and wonderful. So I would probably say those ... Gosh, who else? I can't think of who else I get excited about dancing too, because I want Christmas to make me feel warm and fuzzy as opposed to make me dance.
Amena Brown:
Okay. I'm going to throw out there, this is in dedication to all of us from the South that listen to booty music, I'm going to throw out there What You're Going to Get Her for Christmas from The 69 Boy. Wait, no ...
Matt Owen:
Quad City DJs.
Amena Brown:
I think it's Quad City DJs and 69 Boy on the same song. Actually I was looking at it the other day.
Melinda Doolittle:
I have so many questions right now.
Amena Brown:
Okay. I'm going to have to send you a link to this, Melinda. I really wish that we could just play it, but when we have money to pay these kinds of clearances. But anyway, I'm going to send you the link because when that thing comes in, first of all, still with the sleigh bells, it comes in with the sleigh bells. And when you hear that, "What you going to get her for Christmas? What you going to get that boy? Oh baby, baby." If you ever wanted a song that you could listen to during Christmas time and also shake your booty a little bit, that's it for me. When I hear that song, man, I'm going to send you the link, Melinda. I'm not saying you're going to like it. I'm just telling you I'm going to send you the link.
Melinda Doolittle:
I didn't realize. I think maybe I didn't know that that existed, songs like that. I thought you were going to be like, "Oh, what Christmas means to me is Stevie Wonder." That in my head was a bop. I misunderstood bop. I misunder- I think ... I'm shook right now, and I need ...
Amena Brown:
Yeah, I just want to bring that. I wanted to bring that here because it has a little tagline that's like, "I want a little bit of this. I want a little bit of that." Boy, boy.
Melinda Doolittle:
I am nervous that I'm going to love it so much that I'm going to try to start adding it into shows. This is where this is like there's a thin line between what you should do and what you shouldn't. And I feel like I'm going to love this so much, this new style of music that you've opened up to me. I did not know there was booty popping Christmas music.
Amena Brown:
It's Christmas music. It's very interesting too, because Christmas is a time that typically in the before times, we would have been with our families, you'd have multi-generational family in the same room. And this is one song you could pull off on a family Christmas list. Because even though it has elements of being inappropriate, is not any more inappropriate than the Wobble playing in front of your grandma. You could sneak it in there on a family, Donny Hathaway could come on and that song could come on, and almost for a second nobody would catch it in our high school times as much as the bunch of younger kids like, "Huh, what is this? Yes." It's like your one-time to be like, "That's our hiphop music, but it's like a holiday thing, yes." Okay. I'm going to send that to you, Melinda, because it has a lot of little taglines that you probably could make little hooks of and include.
Melinda Doolittle:
I have not been this excited in quite some time. I can't wait. This has not happened to me in a minute. Please, please send that my way.
Amena Brown:
I'm going to send that link and we might have to have a separate, that'll be an off the record conversation, but we're going to have to separate off the rec conversation and me just being like, "And Melinda, tell me what were your thoughts after you listened to this booty music that was also Christmas music. We didn't know, we didn't know we needed that. And yet here we are."
Melinda Doolittle:
I'm so excited. Jordin Sparks just came out with a Christmas CD called Cider and Hennessy.
Amena Brown:
Yes.
Melinda Doolittle:
And she has a trap version of Angels We Have Heard on High and it goes into Jingle Bells. And I literally sat in my house and sent her a video of me in my Christmas onesie, just popping it. I was like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey." I couldn't help it, because I was like, "Why would you do this to Angels We Have Had on High, but also thank you for doing this to Angels We Have Had on High. I didn't know I needed it." So that's why I feel like this is a slippery slope I'm getting ready to go down and I'm all here for it.
Amena Brown:
I'm here to help. I'm also going to bring up another classic gospel jam that Kirk Franklin, Jesus Is The Reason is still one of my favorite Christmas jams.
Melinda Doolittle:
That's fair.
Amena Brown:
I do feel like that falls in the jams category.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
And anytime I hear that, I'm like, as soon as I hear that Santa Claus ain't got nothing on this, I'm like, "Oh, someone said it's Christmas time. Someone said we need the tinsel. Someone said a wreath. Yes. Yes. It's time. It's Christmas time everyone." Santa Claus ain't got nothing on, let's go.
Melinda Doolittle:
Let's go.
Amena Brown:
Bring the whole tree. Just bring it with you. Bring your Christmas tree. That's what we need.
Melinda Doolittle:
And don't play, ever.
Amena Brown:
At all. Okay. Let us ask about Christmas traditions. You talked about the things that your mom did for you. I love this 12 days of Christmas. When you said it earlier, I was like, "Am I too late? No, maybe I'm not too late." But by the time you're listening to this recording, you is late. Okay? You're late.
Melinda Doolittle:
You're too late.
Amena Brown:
That's not, you can't do you, unless you're going to do 12 days after which basically is Kwanzaa. You can do that. You just need to learn the other, umoja, you need to learn the other principles of Kwanzaa, and then you could try to see how you can transition into that.
Amena Brown:
So in the before times, Melinda, what were some of your favorite Christmas traditions, things that you did every year during the season that you were like, "These are my things that I do to celebrate Christmas?"
Melinda Doolittle:
Well, so I have to say since I grew up in a divorced household, I spent Christmas in different places every other Christmas. And so I don't have a ton of traditions. We've never been about the exact date or anything like that. On the birthdays, anything, just because they get celebrated when they get celebrated.
Melinda Doolittle:
However, the one thing that my mom and I have done every single year is we throw Jesus a birthday party, because that's the point, it's the point. We have a birthday cake, there's a candle, we sing happy birthday. We don't do the normal pies and all of that for Christmas, we do cake. There's a birthday cake and we sing Happy Birthday. And that for me has been the best tradition ever, because that's the point at the end of the day for us, is that we're celebrating the birth of Jesus. So I'm like, "It's your birthday, so what gift would you like from me on this year birthday?" So we will celebrate and then we will talk about what we're giving Jesus for his birthday. What I'm deciding to do for this next year that will make him happy. And so that's basically, if there's any tradition, it's that.
Amena Brown:
I'm just going to tell you all that, that touched me. It just touched my little soul hearing about that. And honestly, Melinda, I don't know if TV producers are listening to this, but you all listen to me, Melinda and her mama need a holiday show. They need, you all know how you all have like British bake-off holiday, you all have Cupcake Wars holiday, whatever. You all need a 12 days of Christmas with Melinda and her mama. Okay? You all need to give her and mama a TV deal, okay? Where they can take us through this and you need to pay them lots of money. Because when I tell you Melinda, I will watch that, I will watch it, and then you should get ... Let me speak this into existence. You should get a deal like this that just pay lots and lots of money, but then you only have to record them few weeks, whatever that is.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes, two.
Amena Brown:
And then by the time it airs, you're at show house or wherever you are, you know what I'm saying? You're relaxing and it's just running on until other people can enjoy it then, but you can be at home or wherever you are on your onesie, just chilling. TV producers ...
Melinda Doolittle:
I receive that.
Amena Brown:
... get on that. I would watch that. As soon as you said that I was like ... And then I heard that song in the back of my head. I know some of you all grew up like this and you you all don't want to hear what this, but that song, the little kids will always sing, and it always had to be a little kid with the high voice that sings the, Happy Birthday Jesus. You got to have somebody hit that note. "I'm so glad it's Christmas," you got to have somebody to hit that note. Melinda, they got to hit that note, right?
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
They're near the cake. That's how it got to be.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes. Oh, I love that. Yeah, honestly I went and sang for the troops one Christmas and I took my mom. And so, we're over in the Middle East and having the best time, and she's given out mom hugs ...
Amena Brown:
Oh, mama.
Melinda Doolittle:
... for Christmas and I'm singing with the band, and we were like, "Wait, we need cake." Do you all have cake? Because we were like, "It's not Christmas without cake." It's his birthday. We got to celebrate the birthday. "You all are doing all this. You all are doing gifts." We're singing Christmas songs, but also we got a birthday party that we need to have. And they literally went and found cake on the base for us and candles so that we could have our own birthday party at the base. So that is a definite for us.
Amena Brown:
I'm just here for everything. And I'm really, if I have my own production company, I would be calling my people right now like, "You all better figure out how we're going to do this for 2021. You all are going to figure out how we're going to film the first season in the US, and then we're going to take Melinda and her mama traveling for 2022. You all need to figure out this money. Work on it TV producers."
Amena Brown:
Okay, now that we're in a very interesting time. I'm thankful I live near my mom and my grandma, so I've still been able to spend the holidays and things with them, but very differently because they don't live with us. We still have to social distance. I still haven't hugged my grandmother since the pandemic started just out of keeping her safe, right?
Melinda Doolittle:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
So there are these, some air quotes traditions, having to wear masks for certain family functions and depending on how we're gathering, and figuring out the distance, even for this Thanksgiving, we did have Thanksgiving together with my mom and my grandmother and my sister, but my mom and grandma sat at the table, but just the two of them. And then my sister sat at the island, and then my husband and I sat in the living room, so we could still be together, but safely and to make sure we were looking out for their health as well. And then once you finish eating, that mask has got to come back on.
Melinda Doolittle:
It's coming back on.
Amena Brown:
Yeah, so what are some new traditions or just even new things this year that may have come to your mind that you're like, "Oh, I want to add that this year," if you've had any thoughts like that?
Melinda Doolittle:
This year what's been amazing is because normally, obviously I'm just gone all the time. And so I don't get to connect with my family as much anyway, that's just the thing. They know I miss family functions, reunions, all of that most of the holidays, just because ... This year my family instituted a Friday happy hour. So literally every Friday at 6:00 PM, we get on Zoom for an hour and whoever can get on, gets on, and we just see each other and say, :Hey."
Amena Brown:
I like that.
Melinda Doolittle:
We decided ... We've all gotten closer just over this pandemic time just from our Happy hour times. For Thanksgiving, we don't live in the same places and so we knew we weren't going to be traveling to get together or anything like that, so we all got on Zoom a few days before Thanksgiving and we cooked together.
Amena Brown:
Nice.
Melinda Doolittle:
We brought in family recipes. My grandma was on the call. We were like, "Do I put the poultry seasoning in now or is that after?" And she's like, "Wait on it, baby."
Amena Brown:
Come on and wait on it.
Melinda Doolittle:
We were able to actually connect over recipes and what we cooked and what we were going to eat for Thanksgiving. And then on Thanksgiving Day, we just got on Zoom for a quick 30 minutes and said, "Hello, happy Thanksgiving to everybody." And then we all knew we were eating the same meals.
Amena Brown:
Nice.
Melinda Doolittle:
There was that togetherness. And after that happened, as my grandma was saying the Thanksgiving prayer, we all said, "This has to be Christmas." Even when we start being able to meet up again, we have to have this aspect for the people who can't travel or the people who can't be there, can we please cook together beforehand? Can we please do these family events where if you can't be there in person, you can still connect with your family.
Amena Brown:
Yeah.
Melinda Doolittle:
This is going to live on, it just is. It's going to live on. I think that's probably our new tradition right now, is learning from our elders, learning the recipes, learning what's special to them and getting to know family stories as we go throughout the year and then coming together on holidays even if we can't be there in person.
Amena Brown:
Oh, I love that. Don't you all just listen to Melinda and her family and just be like, "I want to be at that?" I want to be at that, that's what made me think like this would be a great TV show because of course, you can't invite everybody to be with your family. You can't invite everybody to be with your family.
Melinda Doolittle:
Correct, and you're not invited.
Amena Brown:
No, please. That's not really it.
Melinda Doolittle:
Nobody.
Amena Brown:
But if there were certain parts of it that were like, "Here's the portion of our family thing that you can view from there."
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
"But you're not going to come in here."
Melinda Doolittle:
From a distance.
Amena Brown:
"But you can view just this part of our family." When I tell you all I would be tuned into that. Netflix, get on it. Okay. Please do that. And I will say for my mom's side of the family, my grandmother is our matriarch. She just turned 88 this year.
Melinda Doolittle:
Oh, my gosh.
Amena Brown:
And because of the way, my mom's side of the family is structured, it's like some of us as cousins are more almost like siblings, the way we were raised together.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
And so, it's my grandma's birthday. It's like, everybody wants to be where she is especially these birthdays. It's since she turned 80, it's like every birthday is we all want to be together, and that would have been really hard. Even without the pandemic, it would have been hard schedule wise to make sure everybody could fly here and get there and do.
Amena Brown:
And so she actually, because my grandma's like this, she actually came to us and told us, like, "You all are going to have a Zoom birthday party for me. And I want to have yellow cake with chocolate frosting." She told, "I want a banner that says happy birthday." She told us everything.
Melinda Doolittle:
That's amazing.
Amena Brown:
We had no planning to do because we did exactly what that lady told us she wanted.
Melinda Doolittle:
Yes.
Amena Brown:
But it was so beautiful having her children, her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren all on one Zoom telling hilarious stories about her, because my grandma is one of these Southern women that is being very serious when she's telling you certain things, but it just sounds hilarious and shady.
Melinda Doolittle:
I love it.
Amena Brown:
Even when she didn't mean it to be shady. She's just like, "I'm telling you a truth. If I say, get a job, get a job. It's not, like I'm not shaming you, but if you want to pay your bills, that's the way you could fix it, is by getting a job."
Melinda Doolittle:
If you get a job.
Amena Brown:
"That's not me being shady. I'm just telling you the truth because I love you." She's that kind.
Melinda Doolittle:
This is why I love our elders.
Amena Brown:
It's so wonderful.
Melinda Doolittle:
I love them.
Amena Brown:
And getting that, first of all, her getting exposed to Zoom, she didn't even know what Zoom was till the pandemic. Now she's exposed to Zoom, so now she's like, "Well, we ought to get on Zoom." I'm like, "Oh, we got to get on Zoom? You just discovered Zoom two weeks ago. How are you going to tell us what to do?"
Melinda Doolittle:
We definitely spend the first 10 minutes of every Zoom getting our grandma on and getting her sound turned on, teaching her, you can see her get real close to the camera with her magnifying glass to find the button that she needs to tap on, because she lives by herself and she's in her 90s, and she will find that button.
Amena Brown:
Wow, come on Grandma, let's go.
Melinda Doolittle:
She will find it and go. And I don't even ... I know her exact age, but I won't say it because she's like, "Age is nothing but a number and mine is unlisted."
Amena Brown:
Come on.
Melinda Doolittle:
So I won't tell you what it is, but in her 90s, obviously we want to be like you guys are with your grandma. We want to be there for everything. We don't want to miss anything. So we've been very intentional of about getting her on these Zooms.
Amena Brown:
Oh, I love that. Last question for you, Melinda. The holidays can be a tough time for a lot of people for various reasons. It does get darker earlier. Sometimes that's great, sometimes that doesn't feel so great. We may have different things that have happened in our families, in our lives that those feelings come up for us around the holidays. And on top of that, the pandemic and all the other things that have happened this year, what words of encouragement or just what ways would you want to hold space for listeners that may be in that time of the holidays and just trying to make it through right now?
Amena Brown:
And I'm sure like many of us you've had times like that, whether it was the holidays or any other time just to get out of bed or some mornings not, or however, what encouraging words could you give to people that may be are listening to this and they're struggling to get through this season? What words of encouragement would you have for them?
Melinda Doolittle:
I think that's a difficult one for me definitely because I know we all struggle and I never want to say the wrong words of course.
Amena Brown:
Great, sure.
Melinda Doolittle:
But I have the most amazing therapist ...
Amena Brown:
Speak a word on that.
Melinda Doolittle:
... that I would not make it without, so I encourage that. If you have access, I encourage that. And one of the things that she has said to me over the years is to manage my expectations. And I used to think that meant that she was telling me to look at worst case scenario, and that wasn't what she was telling me to do. It was more of, when I look at this Christmas season, when I think of Christmas, I think of some people have these traditions that they want to be perfect, and some people have decorations that they want to look perfect, and being honest with yourself and saying, "Hey, this year, things will look differently." It's not going to be my idea of perfect, but where can I find joy in at least one of these moments? Where can I find joy in the imperfection? And that better manages my expectations of what's coming up so that I'm not met with disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. Am I going to see my family? Not in the way that I'm used to.
Amena Brown:
Right.
Melinda Doolittle:
Can I maybe find a way to see them in a different way? Sure, sure. And what happens if my internet goes out? Well, at least we tried. Did we try? Was there an effort behind it? For me, at least this season is going to be about managing my expectations and not expecting perfection from a season, perfection from a day even. If Christmas day turns out to be the worst day you've had in 2020, then celebrate the next day. Don't put it all on that one day or that one big thing that you think has to happen. Manage those expectations well if you can.
Amena Brown:
Melinda, I thank you for sharing these encouraging words. I thank you for giving us songs to add to our holiday playlists. I thank you for encouraging us ...
Melinda Doolittle:
Oh, thank you.
Amena Brown:
... that there is no Christmas decoration judgments. You use your decor as needed. Dates are irrelevant. You do that as you need to. Melinda, we thank you for reminding us the importance of a good onesie. Melinda, thank you for joining us here at HER with Amena Brown. Thank you so much.
Melinda Doolittle:
Thank you for having me. Merry Christmas.
Amena Brown:
You all, I could just talk to Melinda day. I hope you enjoyed hearing from her as much as I did. You can listen to Melinda's albums wherever you like to stream your music, and you can buy her book, Beyond Me: Finding Your Way to Life's Next Level, at your favorite independent bookstore and wherever you like to buy your books. To learn more about Melinda and to stay up on her next event, check out melindadoolittle.com, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram @mdoolittle. And as always, you can find all of this info as well as links to some of the things Melinda and I talked about in the show notes, which are available at amenabrown.com/herwithamena.
Amena Brown:
For this week, I have two people I want to give a crown to. First dear listener, I want to give a crown to you. Those of you who may be going through a hard time right now, those of you who are just doing what you can to make it through the day, continue to take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Do a few things that bring you joy and remember it's important that you're here, not just here listening to this podcast, but that you are here on this earth. We need you here and want you here, just you as yourself being yourself, because that is enough. I hope you look at yourself in the mirror today and remember you are deserving of a crown too.
Amena Brown:
On my second Give Her A Crown, I want to shout out to Toni Braxton for her cover event, Guaraldi's Christmas Time Is Here, made famous by Charlie Brown's Christmas. And if you're a Charlie Brown fan, you already know and love this song. I love this song so much that I don't normally like to hear anyone cover it, but Toni. Toni can sing this song all day if she wants. That perfect tenor in her voice, that fantastic vibrato, she did that song Justice. Toni Braxton, thank you for all of the soul your voice has brought to us and for doing right by one of my favorite Christmas songs. Toni Braxton, give her a crown.
Amena Brown:
HER with Amena Brown is produced by Matt Owen for Sol Graffiti Productions as a part of the Seneca Women Podcast Network and partnership with iHeart Radio. Thanks for listening. And don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast.