Amena Brown:
Yo. Yo. Yo. We back. It is spring, kind of. And I'm here with my husband, Matt, also known as DJ Opdiggy.
Matt Owen:
What's uppers?
Amena Brown:
I like to say that out loud, because we get a lot of pronunciations of that.
Matt Owen:
Opdiggy.
Amena Brown:
Mm-hmm. I think that's a lot of people's favorite.
Matt Owen:
Some people call me Op. I like to pretend that's short for opulence.
Amena Brown:
We also get some people trying to ... Because some people knew that your nickname was Opie, so-
Matt Owen:
Some people think that is my real name.
Amena Brown:
That is true. I encountered that-
Matt Owen:
Yeah. You did.
Amena Brown:
... with some people. So some people go for a DJ Opiediggy. They kind of like pull them together there. But for everyone listening, it is Opdiggy. I like to say rhymes with soap Diggy or hope Diggy.
Matt Owen:
Ope, because I'm dope.
Amena Brown:
Mm-hmm. That's it, people. We just want to give you some little phonetics right there.
Matt Owen:
You should try to cope.
Amena Brown:
If you wear a gold chain, it should be a rope.
Matt Owen:
Oh.
Amena Brown:
Ah.
Matt Owen:
Okay.
Amena Brown:
Boy. There's two people-
Matt Owen:
She says she can't freestyle.
Amena Brown:
There's two people on here who can rhyme. I just rhyme a lot more slowly.
Matt Owen:
She says she can't freestyle.
Amena Brown:
A lot more slowly. Welcome back to another episode of Road Stories. We have so much to tell.
Matt Owen:
Don't we though?
Amena Brown:
We did a series of Road Stories and still have a few more episodes that we have to share with y'all.
Matt Owen:
And so many things we won't share with y'all.
Amena Brown:
That's also true though, because we went through our notes and were like, "Ooh. No. Not going to talk about that publicly. Not going to speak-"
Matt Owen:
But if you see me in the street, shorty.
Amena Brown:
Yeah. You see me at a dinner party, there's some stories that will not make these episodes, but if you see me at a dinner party or in green room, in a public setting somewhere, public private, kind of, basically public like other people are there, but private like I'm not talking from a microphone, you probably could get some of the other stories that we could tell y'all.
Matt Owen:
I'll say names. I'm messy.
Amena Brown:
Because we do leave out some names here. What brought this story to me ... I want to give a shoutout to my friend Leigh, who was also the production assistant on this here podcast. This also reminds me because Leigh would want me to remind y'all that there are show notes. Leigh puts together show notes for every one of these episodes, so if you ever hear me or my guest talking about something, or in this case if you hear Matt and I talking about something and you're like, "Wait. What'd they say?" you don't have to remember that. You can go to amenabrown.com. Show notes right there. All the links are there. But this brings me back to the point. Leigh and I were talking about a trip she had taken recently to the Art Institute of Chicago, and it immediately brought back to me a memory that I thought would be a perfect way to reenter our Road Stories series. So let me set the scene. Matt and I at this point had only been married maybe six months.
Matt Owen:
Maybe. Yeah. Less than a year for sure.
Amena Brown:
Yeah. And I had been booked for a tour with a band. I was very excited about the tour. And the trouble though was that the tour was six weeks long, I think, and it had some, I guess, certain segments of it that were longer, and then it had other ones where the breaks came in more quickly. But the first segment of the tour, I was going to be gone on the road for two weeks. So imagine, everyone, that Matt and I had just gotten married. Matt is working at a church as a youth pastor at the time while we're also traveling together, as we've discussed with you all. We had already started our show that we were doing, and so we were traveling on the road together, and now this was my first gig that came up that ... It was a bus tour, so that meant there were not bunks enough for me to be able to bring a spouse. If everyone brought their spouse, there would have to be like three buses, so there was no way. So I go on the tour. And actually, as we tell you all this story, this is a part of how we came up with one of our marriage rules. This time apart was the longest we have ever been apart our whole marriage is two weeks.
Matt Owen:
Okay. Yeah. That's where this came from. You're right.
Amena Brown:
We decided after this that we would not let it be longer than two weeks that we had to be apart from each other. And as two artists, that could mean a lot of things. We both could have gigs away from each other. This has happened before too where Matt will get a gig and he has to go out of town, and I'm getting a gig, I've got to go out of town, or we both have had times the other person had to travel and the other person was home. But either way, we decided two weeks is the longest period of time, because of what transpired.
Matt Owen:
Good rule. Good rule.
Amena Brown:
In Chicago. So I feel like maybe the tour ... It's like my memories of this are vague now. I can't remember if the tour actually stopped in Chicago, or I kind of feel like I had another gig that I had booked beforehand. This is what I think happened. I had another gig that I had booked before the tour that I had to leave the tour and go to that was in Chicago.
Matt Owen:
Yep. That's what this is. Yep.
Amena Brown:
It was at a college in Chicago. And so we used that gig as a way for you to fly from Atlanta to Chicago.
Matt Owen:
Exactly.
Amena Brown:
And wherever I was on the tour, whatever city we were in, I had to leave them and fly to Chicago and do this gig. So let me tell y'all something right here. First of all, those of you who either have been in or are currently in long distance relationships, or those of you who are in relationships with someone who travels all the time, the time that you are getting a chance to meet back up together is so limited. I think we had 48 hours together.
Matt Owen:
You're having to come out of the thing, the momentum of what you've been doing. I'm flying in with the momentum from what I've ... We've been in two whole different spaces. Now we got to slow down, jet lag, and be in this space together for a short period of time.
Amena Brown:
And it's a thing where you want that 48 hours to go really well.
Matt Owen:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
Because you can't be like, "Oh. That didn't go so good. Let's just stay an extra day."
Matt Owen:
Let's get a do-over tomorrow. Yeah.
Amena Brown:
You don't have that opportunity.
Matt Owen:
It's what you got.
Amena Brown:
And so there is a little bit of internal pressure on the time you have together, because you only have two days. You're hoping all of those two days are great times, experiences that you're having together. You're booed up. You're holding hands, whatever that is. You do not want to what? Have a married fight.
Matt Owen:
And what did we do?
Amena Brown:
Did indeed have a married fight.
Matt Owen:
First married fight.
Amena Brown:
Our first big married fight, I have to say.
Matt Owen:
Chi town.
Amena Brown:
And ...
Matt Owen:
The windy city.
Amena Brown:
Boy. And I want to characterize for y'all, Matt and I are not fighters.
Matt Owen:
No.
Amena Brown:
I believe that every relationship has conflict, and we have had that in many ways over the years we've been together. But we are not fighters. We don't do a lot of yelling.
Matt Owen:
None.
Amena Brown:
We don't do any yelling, and we don't do a lot of fighting either.
Matt Owen:
I think, if you yelled at me, I'd be pretty broke down. I'd be shocked, first of all, but I'd be ...
Amena Brown:
Right.
Matt Owen:
Who?
Amena Brown:
No. No. And neither one of us grew up in families that yell like that-
Matt Owen:
That's true.
Amena Brown:
... either.
Matt Owen:
Right.
Amena Brown:
So I think neither one of us came from a family of origin space where that's what we felt like we had to do to get our point across. So we're not people who yell, and we are not people who have a whole lot of fights. We have some arguments. We have some disagreements. We have some places of conflict. Right?
Matt Owen:
But they're very careful. I would say we're some of the most carefulest arguers. Well, here's what I meant. And what I heard you say ... I think, because we both have been to counseling, one, so we might fight too fair.
Amena Brown:
Right. Right. I was going to say that. I feel like before we got married, we both had been in therapy.
Matt Owen:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
And since we've been married, we both have had times now of being in therapy. So I do feel that gives you some element of some communications training. So I don't know. If other people were around, they might be like, "What?"
Matt Owen:
We're both laid back people, both kind of peacemaker-ish personalities. I ain't a killer, but don't push me type of thing.
Amena Brown:
I'm working on a project right now, y'all, that I'm working with two folks who are very theater experienced. They're brilliant. And one of the things I've noticed is when it's time to give critique about certain things, they sort of have a very long runway before they get to the critique. Before we move on, I just want to offer a piece of feedback for consideration. These are my thoughts, as I-
Matt Owen:
The wind up.
Amena Brown:
In my own-
Matt Owen:
The pitch.
Amena Brown:
... creative process-
Matt Owen:
The swing.
Amena Brown:
... while I also hold space for the other creative processes that may be present here. And they had to explain to me that in their theater environments they've been in that it's a very intimate process to be doing theater together. You want to make sure you're really holding close and holding tenderly all of the people you collaborate with, from crew to cast and all these things. And I feel sort of like we can be like that.
Matt Owen:
Mm-hmm. So when loading the dishwasher, those metal straws have to go in a certain holder a certain way, or else they're going to fall through. If they fall through ... I think you're doing a great job. I really appreciate you.
Amena Brown:
Y'all. The way that all these years Matt still can't get me to understand which way the toilet roll is supposed to go on the thing. I kind of get it, but then I don't. I'm sure I'm doing it not right every single time.
Matt Owen:
We are lucky. We are very blessed in this house to have more bathrooms than we have people. I think that's maybe one reason we don't argue very much.
Amena Brown:
Right. Right.
Matt Owen:
We got a place to go to. And so being that there are three bathrooms, two people, I feel like it's fair that I ... There is one bathroom that you put that toilet paper whether you like it over the top, which is the right way, or under around the back side of the barn, however you do it.
Amena Brown:
Please. Back side of the barn.
Matt Owen:
We have one bathroom, have at it. Put it sideways. Get creative with it. Whatever you do in there-
Amena Brown:
Origami. Whatever you need.
Matt Owen:
... ain't for me to know. However, them other two bathrooms, if I see it, I'm-
Amena Brown:
You going to switch it around?
Matt Owen:
I'm going to switch it.
Amena Brown:
Okay. Okay.
Matt Owen:
It's going to be a-
Amena Brown:
We've had some times. I'm a big cook, especially at certain points, certain times of the year. Man, we've had some times when Matt had to be the one going to the grocery store, and he would come back with the cilantro seasoning, the dry one, and I would be like, "No. No. No. No. No. No. No. We need it fresh."
Matt Owen:
Man, thank God for camera phones now. First of all, that's old. I just called it a camera phone.
Amena Brown:
Boy. We really try to be people who are not always looking like the age that we might be. But every now and then we do say something that's like-
Matt Owen:
You got you one of them camera phones?
Amena Brown:
That's right. We're in our 40s. I got it.
Matt Owen:
But I've learned now to take a picture of the item and send it to you and be like, "This?" question mark.
Amena Brown:
And I too have had to learn to make sure my phone is not on do not disturb so that all of my husband's texts-
Matt Owen:
(Singing).
Amena Brown:
... do not go unanswered while he is in a very busy store, especially before a holiday. Bless our hearts. So these are now almost 12 years of lessons that we indeed did not have, as we approached what we thought was going to be a fun time.
Matt Owen:
It was a.
Amena Brown:
In Chicago.
Matt Owen:
It was a time.
Amena Brown:
Okay. One other thing that I'm going to tell y'all we didn't realize is we didn't know that Chicago people don't play about St. Patrick's Day.
Matt Owen:
Had no clue.
Amena Brown:
Not a clue at all how big of a deal.
Matt Owen:
It's a big deal.
Amena Brown:
I grew up in San Antonio, and San Antonio has a river walk type of situation, and there'll be certain things people do around the river walk different times. Okay. We were in ... Leigh had to correct me, because I called it Millennium Mile. I know some of y'all from Chicago are just cussing in your car, in your cubicle right now. It's the Magnificent Mile.
Matt Owen:
Okay.
Amena Brown:
Thank you, Leigh. Okay. We were trying to get down to the Magnificent Mile, because, yes, we are two artists who indeed wanted to go to the Art Institute of Chicago. I'm big on a art museum.
Matt Owen:
Love it.
Amena Brown:
Especially if you're in a big metropolitan city like that, you're going to Chicago, you're going to LA, you're going to New York. I'm like, "Yes. This is what we need to do." I'm in New York, it's MoMA for me. I got to stop up in MoMA right quick. So I was very excited because I had never been to an art museum in Chicago. So we decided to be very artsy people, that we were going to go to the Art Institute of Chicago. Also, let's talk about booking hotel rooms using Priceline and Hotwire because that's all you can afford.
Matt Owen:
[inaudible 00:14:45].
Amena Brown:
So I'm going to let y'all know right now that this is how we had to book this hotel. And I used to play big, big games on Priceline. I'm not even sure you can hustle Priceline now the way you could back then, but I'm pretty sure I got us a four star hotel. Maybe it was near the airport. Mind your business. I got us a four star hotel for 56 bucks a night. And it was a-
Matt Owen:
What could go wrong?
Amena Brown:
It was a very nice room.
Matt Owen:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
Until you decided that you wanted to go to the Magnificent Mile.
Matt Owen:
Oh, yeah.
Amena Brown:
And you realized that you were going to have to take-
Matt Owen:
It was a magnificent lots of miles.
Amena Brown:
Yeah. Yeah. You was about to take 17 trains, two planes, one helicopter, and a boat-
Matt Owen:
Planes. Trains. Automobiles.
Amena Brown:
... just so you could get back to the part of Chicago you wanted to go to. And I feel for people when they're traveling to a city for the first time, because people give it to us about Atlanta. People will come to Atlanta and end up having a hotel in Duluth somewhere and be like, "Ugh. Why am I so far from everything?" This is pretty much what happened to us, because I had no concept of how Chicago was set up at all, that there are these different ... Kind of like when you're in New York, there are the boroughs. There's different sides of town in Chicago.
Matt Owen:
LA. Different types of cities.
Amena Brown:
Yeah.
Matt Owen:
It's not all-
Amena Brown:
You can't just bring yourself down there and feel like you're close to everything in these big old cities. So we get our little hotel, which I was very proud of. It was very cute. But then when we looked up how is we going to get ... And I'm assuming there wasn't Uber.
Matt Owen:
No. I think this was pre Uber, pre Lyft.
Amena Brown:
This was pre Uber, pre Lyft. So rideshare did not exist.
Matt Owen:
Nah.
Amena Brown:
Man, we've been married long enough that rideshare-
Matt Owen:
It was you had to catch a taxi. I mean, if you balling like that, get car service. Get a limo.
Amena Brown:
And a taxi was expensive. I mean, especially because I think we were like 45 minutes away. I mean, that still would not have been a super cheap Uber or Lyft ride, but you didn't have Uber or Lyft in the middle. You either had this taxi ride that maybe now you a hundred, and maybe you over a hundred by the time you add in the tip. Or we could get on the train and take ... I think we had to take the train to a bus.
Matt Owen:
I think you might be right.
Amena Brown:
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt Owen:
I think you might be right.
Amena Brown:
To get over to the Art Institute. All right.
Matt Owen:
And I think we had to walk. If I remember, we had to walk. There was a underpass we had to walk, and it felt pretty sketchy.
Amena Brown:
That's right, babe.
Matt Owen:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
That's right. The way you had to get from our hotel to the train station was yikes.
Matt Owen:
So it was a journey, and in hindsight I could see what was being set up. It was the perfect storm.
Amena Brown:
Boy. Boy. Okay. So I feel like we just were walking down Magnificent Mile, very booed up. When we were dating, we were people who would walk in Atlanta, certain sides of town. We would walk around and hold hands. So one of the pluses to us being married and in love with each other and traveling for a living meant we could just take our little booed up situation and just drop ourselves off anywhere. We just walk down the streets of Chicago, hold hands like it's Atlanta.
Matt Owen:
Yep.
Amena Brown:
Find out we're in Wyoming somewhere. Hold hands over there. Whatever we're doing.
Matt Owen:
Figure it out. Yep.
Amena Brown:
So we're having a wonderful time. We're down in the area where the M&M's store ... There's like a big M&M's store down there. I remember that. And I had been hearing about the hot dogs in Chicago. And I'm a New York girl, not that I was from there or raised there, but of the major cities in America, New York's my place. That's my town. So I'd had quite a few New York hot dogs. And people in New York ... Y'all fight me in the DMs. But also if you do want to fight me, still DM me, because I could know you listening, and that's nice. But my people in New York were talking sideways about Chicago food. They were like, "Don't go over there and eat their lasagna pizza," and I was like, "Why are they talking that?" And they're like, "They don't know what a hot dog ..." They were talking, and I was like, "I feel like it's not fair for me to participate in this and not know what it tastes like."
Matt Owen:
Let me find out.
Amena Brown:
So we find some kind of hot dog place.
Matt Owen:
I think it was a street vendor.
Amena Brown:
I remember going inside of there, but I cannot-
Matt Owen:
Okay. Well, I'm not going to start another marriage fight about our marriage fight.
Amena Brown:
Please.
Matt Owen:
So whatever you say.
Amena Brown:
I remember going inside there. I remember it was very busy, and so I assume ... Now, y'all, this is partially because we didn't know how big of a deal St. Patrick's Day was.
Matt Owen:
Had no clue.
Amena Brown:
So what we're seeing is a long line that we're thinking is a long line because people love this place.
Matt Owen:
This must be a delicious hot dog popup.
Amena Brown:
Yeah. It's really a long line because it's St. Patrick's Day.
Matt Owen:
If it's a hot dog popup, is it a pupup?
Amena Brown:
Ooh. A pupup. I really ... You did that. I really like that. Let's keep that. Let's keep that in our back pockets in case we need it.
Matt Owen:
If poetry doesn't work out. You know what I mean? Make us a pupup.
Amena Brown:
Boy, I'm about to say. If we go ahead and get a dog-
Matt Owen:
We could be pupupreneurs.
Amena Brown:
Boy. Y'all, please rescue me.
Matt Owen:
My bad. Back to the story.
Amena Brown:
Okay. So we decide to pull up in this place. We decide to pull up in this pupup situation and get this hot dog. Now, because it was St. Patrick's Day, I will give y'all the warning signs that the relish was bright green, not the normal green that relish is. It was bright bright.
Matt Owen:
It was. It was disturbingly green. Yeah.
Amena Brown:
But did we think about that at the time? No. We're very excited to get this hot dog, and I'm in part happy to report, to date at that point in my life, that was the best hot dog I'd ever had.
Matt Owen:
Yeah. It was delicious.
Amena Brown:
Chicago hot dogs ... We're going to have a separate episode where we're going to discuss some of our food adventures on the positive side in traveling. But that Chicago hot dog ... Man, the celery salt really ... That really did some things.
Matt Owen:
It went hard.
Amena Brown:
Like the tomatoes.
Matt Owen:
Narrator voice, "And then it went hard."
Amena Brown:
Oh, my gosh. Everything was so delicious. Okay. We go to get our little hot dog, continue walking ourselves over to the Art Institute. And as we are in the Art Institute, we get into a married fight. Some things was said. Some things was misunderstood. Some things was understood, which is why it made us fight about it. So now we are in this glorious art museum having a very awkward argument, trying to be like, "Are we people who want to try and put this to the side so that we can enjoy the beautiful art?" Can I tell you anything I saw that day? No. Not a thing.
Matt Owen:
Nope.
Amena Brown:
I can't remember anything about that.
Matt Owen:
I was trying to reel it back in. Said something I shouldn't have said.
Amena Brown:
I also want to say that this was either the second day of our trip, or the hot dog we had later in the day, because I also feel like on this same trip we had Chicago pizza and there was glass in it.
Matt Owen:
That was the night before.
Amena Brown:
Okay. Okay.
Matt Owen:
We went and got pizza, and it was ... You know how ... Those big thick beer mugs. It was that glass. It was the biggest, thickest chunk of glass possible in this.
Amena Brown:
I feel like something in Chicago was out to get us, now that I think about this, because-
Matt Owen:
I think it was the devil.
Amena Brown:
Because when we realized the glass was in there, obviously they gave us the pizza.
Matt Owen:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
I think they didn't charge us and then gave us a new pizza.
Matt Owen:
I think so.
Amena Brown:
Yeah. So mind y'all, that happened the night before, so Chicago was already out to get us. We was on the way to down bad in a way we didn't realize. Okay. So whatever happened, we finish up our little visit in the Art Institute. I really can't remember if we both just got so frustrated that we walked out of there, or if-
Matt Owen:
It was awkward. It was awkward.
Amena Brown:
Or if we were really ... I don't remember, but I remember we walked out.
Matt Owen:
I know we weren't enjoying it, whatever it was. No. No.
Amena Brown:
No. We were not having a good time, and I remember we walked out of the Art Institute, and I really strongly remember being so mad that I was stomping almost down the street away wherever we were supposed to be going next, because I don't remember what our next plans were. We had some stuff I think we were trying to do. I don't know if we were going to go shopping. Maybe that's what it was.
Matt Owen:
Maybe.
Amena Brown:
I think we were going to maybe go shopping or something after we left the Art Institute. And I was just stomping down the street, I was so mad. And Matt's trying to talk, and I can't hear him, and I'm trying to talk, and we just ... It's not going good, y'all.
Matt Owen:
No.
Amena Brown:
So continues to stomp, y'all. Continues to have awkward ... It's almost like we got so upset that you're trying to explain to your partner what you meant, and then you trying to explain why you don't like what they meant. You're trying to do all of that while walking down a very crowded street, because, reminder, everyone, it is St. Patrick's Day.
Matt Owen:
And people are drunk.
Amena Brown:
And as the day progresses, it's getting more and more and more packed.
Matt Owen:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
Okay. So now it is getting close to dusk, and we are in considerations of the fact that we are very far from our hotel situation.
Matt Owen:
Were.
Amena Brown:
And maybe we just need to call it on this day and head back to the hotel. But as we're walking down the street ... I don't know if y'all have seen the movie Alien, and I can't remember if this was Alien or Aliens, the second one, but spoiler, there is a scene where Sigourney Weaver is laying on a table and it looks like something is trying to come out of her stomach, and indeed they discover it is an alien.
Matt Owen:
Alien.
Amena Brown:
But it's a lot of writhing around before they realize, "Oh, no."
Matt Owen:
It's a thing.
Amena Brown:
"An alien is inside of her."
Matt Owen:
It's a moment. Yeah.
Amena Brown:
And I want y'all to know that I felt like Sigourney Weaver. As we were walking down the street, now whatever angry feelings I had are being replaced by high concerns, because we're in the middle of a very busy downtown Chicago-ish. Some of y'all from Chicago might be like, "That's not downtown." It felt like downtown to us-
Matt Owen:
As far as we know.
Amena Brown:
... because we're from the country of Atlanta. I don't know. I don't know. So Matt is like, "Hey. Maybe let's go into this Subway, get you some 7 Up," because I don't know who decided that 7 Up, Sprite, and ginger ale going to solve some stomach problems. Maybe they do.
Matt Owen:
They do.
Amena Brown:
I don't know, but that's always the go-to thing.
Matt Owen:
I know it. You know it. Crackers and some ginger ale. That's all you need.
Amena Brown:
That's what you do. So they didn't have ginger ale, so I get the 7 Up. I start to drink the 7 Up. And I have this moment, y'all, that I realize I'm going to throw up. And we're in a part of the city where ... And y'all know what I'm talking about if you've been in these big metropolitan areas. We're in a part of the city where places are like, "You can't use this bathroom unless you are a patron of the business," and some businesses are like, "The bathroom is for employees only." You don't even know there is a bathroom. So I'm realizing that whatever this is is about to come out, and before I know it, y'all, I am throwing up into the street.
Matt Owen:
Middle of the street.
Amena Brown:
This has never happened to me, y'all. I have never just thrown up in public like that.
Matt Owen:
It was rough.
Amena Brown:
Even since then, I do not believe I have thrown up in public like that. And, y'all, because it was St. Patrick's Day, a car full of young white men drives by, sees me throwing up into the street, and whatever their music was they were listening to, they were pumping their-
Matt Owen:
There was a lot of fist pumping.
Amena Brown:
... arms and yelling something, "Get drunk like a white boy. Get drunk like a white boy," at which time ... This is how you know that your person is really for you, because at this point all bets are off regarding said fight that we've had. All I remember is you yelling, "She doesn't feel good."
Matt Owen:
I was ready to fight. It was one of those moments where I was like ... Now we have a rule in our marriage that we try to keep bail money for at least one person. But even still, we keep misdemeanor bail money. We ain't got federal bail money. But I was ready to risk it all at that moment. I was like, "Oh, this a fight. Shirt coming off."
Amena Brown:
I mean, and I think we still did not truly understand how much my throwing up was not uncommon on St. Patrick's Day. In their mind, they're just like, "Oh, yeah. People come out here. People been drinking since 11:00 AM. They just ... Okay." So once I throw up, I'm feeling a little bit better, but now it's really getting concerning, this journey that we have to go back to the hotel.
Matt Owen:
We got a long way back home and a lot of things to get us home. It's not a quick, easy situation.
Amena Brown:
No. I had a Sprite, the one that ... I had 7 Up. I had the 7 Up in my hand, and we had to get on a bus. No. We had to walk to find out where we catch the bus, because I feel like wherever we arrived was at a different spot than where we had stopped to realize I was sick. And you were also feeling sick.
Matt Owen:
Yeah. I'm pretty good with food. I pretty much got a tank, especially at that point in time, my younger years. But I could definitely tell it wasn't right, but I was like, "You got to hold it. Hold it. Hold it together."
Amena Brown:
We were walking as slow as need be to get to the bus, made it to the bus, took the bus to the proper train station.
Matt Owen:
Miserable.
Amena Brown:
And then once we get on that train, we're at least on the train. We didn't have a bunch of stops to make, so it was kind of comforting to know that we didn't have a bunch of stops to make. But then it was also not comforting because I just threw up in public. I just had such a strong urge to throw up that I couldn't stop myself. And so the idea that now most of our journey ... We've got at least 30 minutes on this train. Will I not be able to throw up on our way back? Then a man stands up on the train, because any of you that have been on public transportation know that you could experience all sorts of presentations.
Matt Owen:
Anything could happen
Amena Brown:
Could be someone has a song on their heart. Could be someone has studied the Jabbawockeez and decided that it's a dance they need to do for you.
Matt Owen:
Somebody brought their congas.
Amena Brown:
Could be someone feels you need to be evangelized and they've decided this is the time to pass some tracks, to preach to you. This gentleman, unfortunately ... He is having an even worse day than we are having. But I don't all the way remember what he said on the train.
Matt Owen:
I do.
Amena Brown:
Okay.
Matt Owen:
I do. He was a down-on-his-luck man. I don't know the situation. I don't know the story. I just know that he stood up and yelled that if he didn't get enough money for something, that he was done. He was done. We'll leave it there. And I know I reached in my pocket. I think I had a dub in there, and I walked up to him. I said, "Bruh, I ain't got what you're asking for. Here's 20 bucks. Yo, man. You can do it. Keep on keeping on, playboy," and that was it.
Amena Brown:
So imagine the layers.
Matt Owen:
Yeah. Yeah.
Amena Brown:
The layers of us having gotten into a married fight, having now discovered that at least one of us is sick, and now this man in a very precarious emotional state-
Matt Owen:
Oh, yeah.
Amena Brown:
... has entered the train.
Matt Owen:
Very loudly.
Amena Brown:
And then you're in the moment where you're like, "I know I have 30 minutes on this train. Does he also have 30 minutes?"
Matt Owen:
How-
Amena Brown:
"Is he going to be on this whole ride with us?" Okay. So we make it through that, make it back to the train station. But as I explained to y'all about a Priceline hotel-
Matt Owen:
Oh, man.
Amena Brown:
... it's not like the train station is connected to the hotel.
Matt Owen:
Nah. The walk.
Amena Brown:
We still have a long, dark, and sketchy walk.
Matt Owen:
See, this is one of those places where early on, being a young man who was always like, "Man, I bet we don't need to spend that money," now, in my 40s, I'm like, "Partner, spend that money. Go on. Get that car, playboy."
Amena Brown:
Yeah. I think, in our 40s it would have been like, "Let's catch a cab." If Uber and Lyft were not an option, which they weren't, we would have been like, "Let's catch a cab." Or, bless it, we would have been like, "Let's find a hotel that's down there."
Matt Owen:
Now, granted, at this time, I know I didn't have a credit card. My credit was trash.
Amena Brown:
Yo. You might be saying something right there.
Matt Owen:
So we might have just been making it do what it do.
Amena Brown:
You might be saying something right there, because I don't think I had one either. I had had one maybe a few years before we got married, maxed it out, and then I had spent like two years working really hard to pay that credit card off. And then once it got paid off, I let it close, let it lapse. I didn't even keep it, because I was scared to even have a credit card. So you're right. We just had our little debit cards and whatever cash we had. That's it. That's all it was.
Okay. So I want y'all to know that we finally made it back to the hotel, at which time I think we discover, number one, that it's not just me that's sick, that Matt is sick. We are pretty confirmed that we had food poisoning. So all night ... This is our last night, not only in Chicago, but together, before we had to go our separate ways. I want y'all to know that all night it was, "Okay. But what did you mean when you ... Hold on. Hold on," all night.
Matt Owen:
So what I'm hearing you say is that ... Give me one minute. Give me one minute. Give me one minute.
Amena Brown:
And I'm going to tell y'all something. Of all the time that Matt and I have been married, I am the person who throws up in this family. I hate that this started a trend, because I've been married to Matt almost 12 years, and I really can't recall that I have ever been in your presence when you had to throw up.
Matt Owen:
We've been on the phone one time, and I was slick enough to hit mute, handle business, unmute, and I don't even think you knew it happened.
Amena Brown:
And that feels unfair, because I have now thrown up in public. I have thrown up in a hotel room after discovering that this was indeed food poisoning. I have thrown up in another hotel room when we ate some pizza, some frozen pizza that was supposed to be cooked in the oven but was sold to us like it was microwave pizza.
Matt Owen:
It was not.
Amena Brown:
It's always me though. It's always my stomach that's like, "Something's wrong."
Matt Owen:
That microwave pizza ... As the kids say, that was nasty work.
Amena Brown:
Oh, it was so bad.
Matt Owen:
Oowee.
Amena Brown:
So we're up almost all night off and on the night before we had to leave Chicago, trying to rehash this argument so that we could get to a point of just like, "All right. We talked it out. We're good now." We were not good, but we were also so sick. Get to the airport, and Matt is going back home to Atlanta, because he has a job that is there in Atlanta. He's going back home, and I have to go back to finish the tour. And it's one of those moments like I guess in a way it makes me know that just because you're having an argument with your partner or your spouse, that you could still be like, "Ooh. That really annoyed me," and "Oh, my gosh. I do not want you to have to get on a plane by yourself feeling like this."
Matt Owen:
I felt so horrible. I remember going to ... I don't know if it was the gift shop at the hotel or if it was in the airport, and buying all ... Remember those Pepto Bismol tabs?
Amena Brown:
Yes. Yes.
Matt Owen:
The dry ones?
Amena Brown:
Yes. The tabs.
Matt Owen:
And I bought every one that they had in there. I was like, "Just put these in your ..." I felt so bad, because normally we're on the road together, and whichever one of us is on, the other one of us is taking care of all the other stuff. In this case, you were going your way, I was going my way, and this was the ... I couldn't do any ... I was like, "There's got to be something I could do for her." I felt so terrible.
Amena Brown:
And we had called my mom, because my mom's a nurse, and told her our symptoms, and she was like, "Yeah. That's food poisoning,' and she had told us, "Okay." She was like, "Try to get some Gatorade or Powerade," and she was like, "Dilute it with water. Get some cracker." She had told us what to get. Matt went right away, got the items that she said to get, and sent me with it. And we were just sort of looking at each other like, "This is not how our little romantic Chicago weekend after being apart for two whole weeks ..." Which would be a long time to me today, but newlywed us ... That was like-
Matt Owen:
Forever.
Amena Brown:
... an eternity away from each other. Now having to get on different planes and just hope for the best, hoping that both of us could make it home okay. So I make it to my destination. I'm barely eating anything. I can barely keep down a couple of crackers and some diluted Gatorade. Make it to the gig. And the band I was on the road road with is really a great band. So I would always ... On the tour, I would sit on the side of stage and watch their shows, and that was the one night I did not. Because I had to go on four or five times during the show. So I was going up, doing my little poem, and then I would have to go and sit down, because I was so weak. I mean, we're pushing 24 hours now of just me having crackers and a little bit of Gatorade at that point.
I want y'all to also know that food poisoning on a tour bus is one of the worst things that can ever happen to you, especially when you're traveling with a band but you're not really in the band, which means you're not getting the prime choice of the bed that you got to choose. And in the type of tour bus we were in, the beds were in columns of three, and typically the best bed is the middle bed, but if you don't have high rank in the band, you taking that top bed, because that's the one that's the most challenging to get in.
Matt Owen:
Yep.
Amena Brown:
The feeling that you're going to throw up in the middle of the night while a tour bus is riding down the road ...
Matt Owen:
Playing games.
Amena Brown:
The way your body is shaped like an X, just trying to get down from ... Like your legs are on ... One leg is on one person's bed, and the other leg-
Matt Owen:
[inaudible 00:39:59].
Amena Brown:
The other leg leg on somebody's bed, just trying to see, like, "Am I going to have to go to the bathroom in this tour bus? Are they all going to hear me throw up?" Anyways, whatever the next stop was, I think, after I finally got my stomach to where I wasn't throwing up, I couldn't really eat, but I wasn't throwing up, we tried to rehash our things. We came to some understanding.
Matt Owen:
We did. Learned some things.
Amena Brown:
Did learn some things-
Matt Owen:
Learned some things.
Amena Brown:
... from that argument. Did learn some things. And in a way, y'all, I mean, lives happily ever after.
Matt Owen:
Have not had a green hot dog since.
Amena Brown:
Boy, I did not eat a hot dog for three years after that. The idea of having a hot dog was just like ... I could not. No. No. So I want y'all to understand a few things. Number one, what I learned after we got some friends that are from Chicago is always double check the hot dog place with your friends that live there.
Matt Owen:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
It's the same way if somebody in Atlanta would be like, "I'm traveling down to Atlanta, and I had fried chicken. I got sick." I'd be like, "Why didn't you tell me? I would have told you never, never have fried chicken at that place."
Matt Owen:
Don't go to Gladys Knight's post 2012.
Amena Brown:
Okay. Please. Because you're in for a world of trouble. Okay. So we did get to go back to Chicago and actually have the Portillo's hot dogs after like five years at best.
Matt Owen:
Yeah.
Amena Brown:
That is a delicious hot dog.
Matt Owen:
It's a good hot dog.
Amena Brown:
And no food poisoning. Okay. But what we have not been able to do is go back to the art museum. I feel like we need a redo on that.
Matt Owen:
We do. Let's go.
Amena Brown:
We need to go back. We need to go back to there, and whatever things that we think we're going to argue about, we need to stand on the steps and get it all out.
Matt Owen:
Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I'm smarter. I smile and nod.
Amena Brown:
We need to get on the steps right now and just say whatever our things are so we can just go in and just enjoy the art.
Matt Owen:
Some thoughts just belong in your head.
Amena Brown:
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It do be like that sometimes. That's a takeaway. That's a takeaway. I want to give y'all some takeaways from this.
Matt Owen:
Some thoughts belong in your head, and you can't cook pizza in the microwave.
Amena Brown:
Okay. All right. That's a part of it. Also, don't get drunk like a white boy, apparently. I don't know what exactly that means, but I'm just telling you if it means looking like how I looked, throwing up into the street-
Matt Owen:
I think the phrase was white boy wasted, but-
Amena Brown:
Oh.
Matt Owen:
... I didn't want to create another marriage fight, so I just ...
Amena Brown:
No. You right though.
Matt Owen:
In my older wisdom, I smile and nod. Yeah.
Amena Brown:
So what were they ... They were yelling get white boy wasted.
Matt Owen:
Get white boy wasted.
Amena Brown:
Oh, my god.
Matt Owen:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I-
Amena Brown:
Oh, my god.
Matt Owen:
But yours was was good too. Yours was good too.
Amena Brown:
Well-
Matt Owen:
And the toilet paper can go however you want in your bathroom.
Amena Brown:
Okay. I'm also going to say for your takeaway maybe don't get wasted like a white boy. I don't know what white boy wasted means, but if it means anything close to how I felt throwing up in the street, I'm going to advise you all don't do it. Don't do that. That's how we survived food poisoning and Chicago. But Chicago owes us another romantic two days.
Matt Owen:
Yes, it does.
Amena Brown:
Yeah. We need to go back and just have pizza without glass, and have hot dog with no food poisoning, and have the Art Institute no arguments. We're going to give it a try.
Matt Owen:
Me and you.
Amena Brown:
HER with Amena Brown is produced by Matt Owen for Sol Graffiti Productions as a part of the Seneca Women podcast network and partnership with iHeartRadio. Thanks for listening, and don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.